5 Reasons He Will Leave His Wife for You (And Why He Won’t)

Are you involved with a man who is married to someone else? You could experience excitement and a wonderful connection. However, because it needs to be kept a secret, it is also strained and challenging.

You cherish him. You hope that he finally picks you because you want things to change.

But the simple fact is this:

Holding onto an affair can only cause you sorrow.

Rarely does the end turn out well.

Accepting this fact is difficult. We’ve all been there, though.

I’ll go over the main reasons why he could leave his wife for you and explain why partnerships based on infidelity are typically not worthwhile. Let’s get going.

Five key indicators that he is going to leave his wife

1) His miserable and troubled marriage

If the man you’re dating believes that being married was a mistake, he could decide to alter his mind and break up with his wife.

Perhaps he is indeed miserable in his marriage. He is under a lot of pressure and tension since they are incompatible. This can be an indication that he’s about to divorce his wife.

But how much anguish he is willing to endure will determine this. Is staying painful worse than leaving painful?

Why he hasn’t already divorced or why he’s seeking for a relationship when he’s unavailable still raises a lot of questions.

He can be enjoying the best of both worlds if he is dissatisfied and looking for a relationship with you.

2) He has no children.

Your man has compelling reasons to stay with his existing family if he has kids. Children are like helpless spectators in a dishonest relationship. Children who experience adultery are frequently the ones who suffer the most.

There is less cause for concern if he and his wife do not have any children. It’s more likely that he will quit his marriage to be with you.

In spite of this, he might not automatically run to you right away if you don’t have any children. There are still many things at risk. No of how or why it occurred, marriage is a very important subject.

It’s critical to comprehend the complexities of a committed marriage as well as the challenges associated with ending one. He won’t find it simple to leave his wife, kids, or lack of kids.

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3) You make him feel “heroic” (his wife doesn’t)

Does he take the initiative for you? safeguard you against damage (even slight injury)? make an extra effort to make sure you’re okay?

It’s likely that you’ve sparked his sense of duty in a manner that his wife can’t (or won’t), and this will make him want to be with you more.

A recent relationship psychology theory called the “hero instinct” reveals what men actually desire in a partner.

A man has to believe that he is her defender and the only person she can depend on in order to truly commit to her. And she really does appreciate it, too.

Men have an innate need to be the hero in this situation for the lady, known as the hero instinct. This has biological roots in men.

Here is another link to the original video.

A guy is required to be a hero even if you may not need one. And if a woman wants a man to be more than just a friend, she must consent.

It is obvious that a married man is considering leaving his wife if he behaves in this way for you rather than his wife.

4) His wife is poisonous or unkind to him

It’s conceivable that he will leave his wife for you if she is poisonous to him by treating him badly, demeaning him, or being cruel to him.

Perhaps he first came to you for solace or a way out. Or perhaps he is simply seeking for an excuse to end that unhealthy relationship. You just so happened to be there at the appropriate time.

However, keep in mind that there will still be consequences even if he does leave his wife for you as a result. Divorce is never simple, especially if he has been having extramarital affairs.

He’ll likely have a lot of emotional issues to address if he endured a harmful relationship for months or even years—one that was as serious and binding as marriage. He needs to recover from that ordeal.

It won’t be simple helping him heal. And if he begins to recover, there’s a chance he’ll decide to move on after realizing that you were only a byproduct of his recovery.

Of course, every scenario is unique, and every individual has a unique reaction to it. Healing is a challenging and frequently unpredictable process.

It’s likely that he is not being completely candid about the issues in his marriage if his wife’s actions are less dramatic. He could be making his wife the villain.

Should he leave his wife for you, such issues may affect your relationship because he may be the root of them.

5) He no longer feels an emotional connection to his wife

A man’s marriage is not likely to endure if there is little emotional intimacy.

It seems reasonable that he would resort to others instead of his sworn life partner since they don’t have the same emotional bond.

Other individuals in this instance being you.

How strong is your emotional bond with him right now? Is it enduring and profound?

In a cheating relationship, which is frequently founded on the scandalous, hazardous, and sexual nature of encounters, that question might be challenging to answer.

However, it’s possible that you do have that type of bond. He could actually be the issue if he won’t express his feelings or talk about his marital issues or why he’s having an affair with you.

It may be her emotional disconnect from him rather than the other way around.

Last but not least: He feels confined

A guy may feel imprisoned in a marriage for a variety of reasons.

Family responsibilities may be quite demanding. The duties and routine associated with this sort of family life may be too much for some men to bear.

He could get the rush of excitement he needs in a mistress (you). The ideal response to the sense of imprisonment he is experiencing at the moment.

In light of this, he could desert his wife in favor of you if he feels particularly confined and in need of change.

He knew that would completely change his life.

Another possibility is that his wife is going too quickly for him to feel at ease. She could be prepared to purchase a home with him so they can start a family. He simply isn’t ready for that yet, so he feels the urge to go while he still has the chance.

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The reasons why he won’t divorce his wife

1) Divorce is complicated and messy

In the United States, a divorce will cost an average of $12900 in 2023. The price only starts to increase once problems, kids, custody, and other factors are present.

Spending so much money merely to have him be with you is outrageous.

Not to mention the emotional cost of divorcing his wife—the suffering he knows he will inflict on her and the difficulties of dealing with that guilt. Ignore the technicalities of separating his life from hers.

All of this results in a great deal of suffering, labor, pressure, strain, and difficulty.

All of it adds up to compelling arguments for him to maintain his relationship with his wife and you as his mistress. In this manner, he avoids having to cope with the weight and financial trouble of a divorce.

2) He has all he requires thanks to his mistress (you) and his wife.

There are two different sorts of reasons why people could decide to move away from their nation of origin and into another. (Excuse me while I explain.)

The push factor is the idea that there is something bad about their nation that they desire to leave.

The pull factor, on the other hand, refers to a factor that attracts people to another country.

The outcome is the same: people leave their nation and go to another.

A guy encounters neither a push nor a pull component when it comes to having an affair.

Why?

due to the fact that he is fully equipped. The finest of both worlds is his.

He has structure, a family, and financial security thanks to his wife. He has a home, a future, and a network of support thanks to his wife.

He gets the opportunity to be “a naughty boy” and experience thrill, pleasure, sex, and desire with you, mistress. He enjoys seclusion, escape, and passion. There are some claims that it is even advantageous.

Which should he select, then?

Why should he have to decide between the two? If he is cheating on his wife with you, it is what is going through his head. Right now, he may enjoy the best of both worlds.

Why should he risk everything for you when he can maintain things the same and have both?

It’s not a sound justification, and it’s obviously unfair to both you and his wife. However, it is likely how he is interpreting events and the reason he won’t leave his wife for you.

3) He adores her still.

Consider why he even remains married to her.

He could whine to you about how awful his marriage is, how awful she is, and how badly he wants out. Depending on how shameless he is, he could even keep saying he’ll leave her for you.

Why, therefore, has he not yet left her?

It may be that he still has feelings for her. A healthy person will also be able to confront and have a conversation with their partner if they cease loving them, whether they are married or not. independently and without having to lie.

The man you’re with won’t leave his wife for you if he still loves her.

This is not to imply that he doesn’t care about or love you as well.

He probably has a great deal of concern for you and wants to make sure you’re alright.

But keep in mind that he is only wed to one of you. He may be reluctant to sacrifice everything for you since he still has strong feelings for his wife.

He is concerned about how she will be upset and how it would affect him if she finds out that he is cheating. Don’t worry about how difficult and cruel a divorce based on adultery would be for her.

It’s a key factor in explaining why he wouldn’t desert his wife for you.

4) He would have already left his wife if he had a compelling personal cause to do so.

This discussion focuses on his personal motivations for having an affair as well as his reasons for first straying.

He could admit to you that he wants to divorce his wife and that she is no longer a significant aspect of his life. He can claim that he is about to leave her because he simply cannot stand it any longer.

However, question him: “Why haven’t you left her yet?”

He probably would have already left his wife if he had a compelling personal cause to do so. Of course, each individual and circumstance are unique, so this may not always be the case.

However, most people will end a relationship with someone—married or not—for personal reasons, and it doesn’t necessarily require adultery.

Knowing the causes of cheating

Being unfaithful isn’t precisely a decision that comes easily. The price of leading a second life and keeping your spouse in the dark about your deeds is high.

Considerably if the choice isn’t easy, the reasons why are even trickier.

Keep in mind that even though you can be complicit in the infidelity, you are not the one doing it. It’s critical to comprehend why he is having an extramarital affair with you.

Affairs are typically unsustainable and harmful for a variety of reasons.

These connections frequently stem from egotistical choices.

The terrible fact is that you both made a choice that will negatively impact someone else, no matter how much the two of you attempt to defend the extent of your love or the justifications for your decisions. And you voluntarily choose to do it.

We don’t always get to choose whether or not we harm someone, not only when we cheat.

Your relationship is probably too one-sided as well.

He has to decide when the two of you meet up since an affair has to be planned in advance. His priorities in life are his family first, then you.

When he eventually decides to leave his wife for you, you can find yourself at his beck and call, ready for a late-night encounter. But there’s a good probability he doesn’t value you as highly as you should.

Moving forward

Taking charge of your own future is the greatest approach to go.

You have two choices, in my opinion.

You may watch for him to break up with his wife.

Or you may continue.

He will have to consider whether or not your connection is significant enough to him to make some difficult decisions if you let him know you don’t want to see him (like leaving his wife).

You can interact in several types of connections. You might begin dating other men. As it is, your connection scarcely qualifies as exclusive.

You can come out on top, whatever the outcome, if you take a proactive stance, recover your freedom, and make a few crucial and brave decisions.

Moving on is difficult.

Even if he isn’t yours, you can believe that he is the ideal man for you.

But waiting for the right person to show up all too frequently leads to disappointment and tragedy.

You might be startled to learn that there’s one crucial link in relationships that you’ve probably been ignoring:

Yourself and how you feel about yourself.

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