Sometimes the proverb “Love is blind” couldn’t be more accurate. We all have times in our lives when we are so immersed that we are unable to recognize how toxic and destructive our love relationships truly are.
However, it’s crucial to distinguish between a good connection and an unhealthy co-dependency, regardless of how much we may love someone.
So how can you know when it’s time leave a relationship when you’re too far along?
How? Read on.
Why is leaving so difficult?
Why, when there is plainly so little joy in a relationship, do we find it so difficult to end it?
The solution is more than complex.
We find it challenging to fail. We may say that about our relationships.
Even when we are no longer in control of the issue, we frequently convince ourselves that we can improve any circumstance.
According to author and licensed therapist Karen Siebert:
Even when the relationship appears to be full of conflict and emotional misery, with little joy or support, choosing to stop it can be challenging.
You could recall how it was in the beginning or your expectations for the relationship. You could also ponder whether continuing a turbulent union will forge closer ties.
After a moment of turmoil, long-term partnerships can become stronger and more intimate.
Our ability to evaluate our relationships rationally is hampered by our connection and emotional involvement. We fail to see the apparent causes of a failing relationship.
In the end, it all boils down to:
Anything that is not improving your life must be let rid of. There is a time to give up, despite how painful it may be.
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There are 11 reasons to end your relationship.
If you identify any of these 11 symptoms, it might be time to think about calling it quits.
1) Physical or psychological abuse
A person who loves you will never harm you, either physically or mentally.
Couples can damage one other by making inappropriate comments or acting in a way that the other finds objectionable. If the abuse has continued over time, though, it is a very different matter.
Someone who pretends to love you cannot get away with abusing you. However, it might be extremely challenging for abuse victims to move on from their companions.
Professor emeritus of social work at the University of California, Michael T. Duncan, explains:
Leaving is often a complex process with several stages, including downplaying the abuse and attempting to support the abuser; realizing the relationship is abusive and losing hope that it will improve; and, finally, focusing on one’s own needs for safety and sanity and battling to overcome external obstacles.
If you see any of the aforementioned signs, you should end the relationship right away.
2) Plagiarism
Cheating is not appropriate in a monogamous relationship at all.
Cheating ruins a healthy relationship’s fundamental base. The partnership loses its openness, security, and trust when someone betrays you.
It is possible to forgive. And many marriages are able to move on after the affair. However, remaining is just not worth it if you are someone who can’t take the drawn-out and difficult process of welcoming your spouse back.
According to Liz Zarowski, a breakup coach:
The experience has shown you there are absolutely zero assurances that you know what is actually happening, even when your connection feels strong.
Staying in a relationship with someone who has cheated will be like turning your heart over blindly to someone you know can’t handle you with care. For those who saw no indicators, and even in hindsight cannot see where they might have done anything differently.
Therefore, if the victim was caught off guard by the encounter, it is doubtful that they will ever feel secure, sympathetic, or confident moving forward.
Keep in mind that infidelity may be emotional as well as physical. In either case, you shouldn’t put up with the pain.
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3) Seeking situation-specific advice?
While the primary reasons for ending a relationship are discussed in this article, it might be beneficial to discuss your situation with a relationship coach.
You can receive guidance that is tailored to your life and your experiences when you work with a qualified relationship coach.
On the website Relationship Hero, highly qualified relationship coaches assist people in navigating complex and challenging romantic circumstances, such as deciding whether to stay in a relationship or end it. They are a very well-liked resource for anyone dealing with difficulties of this nature.
How am I aware?
So, a few months ago, when my own relationship was having a hard time, I contacted Relationship Hero. They provided me with a new perspective on the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track after I had been so mired in my own thoughts.
My coach’s generosity, compassion, and sincere helpfulness astounded me.
You may speak with a licensed relationship coach in just a few minutes to receive guidance that is specifically tailored to your needs.
4) Deception
White falsehoods are one thing, but intentionally misleading your partner is unacceptable.
Lies undermine trust much like infidelity. If your spouse or partner has lied to you repeatedly or on a critical matter, you should start thinking about ending your relationship.
Partners who have a history of lying are especially dangerous. Even the most normal individual can become insane after being subjected to falsehoods and gaslighting for a long time.
As Andrew D.Capano, a Berlin-based psychotherapist, explains:
The most unsettling aspect of gaslighting is that even emotionally stable people can become victims.
This is partially due to the fact that when it comes to the behavior of individuals we are very close to, we have a natural tendency to defend, justify, and ignore our worries. The main reason for this is that gaslighting begins gradually and intensifies over time.
The fabrications also rise as the lying or the addiction (or whatever else the liar is attempting to cover up) escalates.
You need to think about the kind of falsehoods you can overlook and the ones that should never be believed.
5) Dependence
It is your duty as their partner to support them at a trying period in their lives.
However, if your partner refuses to change or has repeatedly shown that they are unable to get well, addiction is reason enough to leave.
Counselor Agatha Mertens suggests:
I have personal and professional experience that demonstrates that relationships may endure addiction and recover to a healthy state.
However, I also realize that codependents frequently persist even when change is likely.
Please keep in mind that neither you nor the person you love are to blame for their addiction. It doesn’t matter if she still loves you after she gives up, what you did wrong, or what else you could do. Sometimes you have to jump off the sinking ship to rescue yourself.
6) Absence of motivation
Every one of us has to lead fulfilling lives and give our all to the people we care about.
I am aware of this as I recently contributed to the development of an online course on accepting responsibility for our life. We stress the value of having a purpose and acting on it every day in our lessons.
In my opinion, having a sense of purpose is crucial for a successful relationship. On the other hand, if you don’t feel like you have a purpose in life, it could be time to end a relationship.
Men need a feeling of purpose more than women do.
According to conventional opinion, men should only be attracted to outstanding women; perhaps she has an amazing personality or is a fireball in bed. that we accept people as they are and love them.
But in my opinion, this style of thinking is just incorrect.
Men are more concerned with how a relationship makes them feel about themselves than with a woman’s physical characteristics.
Does he feel proud and has a purpose in the relationship? Does it fit with who he is—how he wants to consider himself as a man—to say that?
7) Disrespect
A healthy relationship must also have respect for one another.
You should never put up with being continuously insulted, especially by someone who claimed to love and care for you.
When someone doesn’t appreciate you, they don’t respect you. It implies that they will prioritize their own happiness over yours in every decision they make.
How can you love someone who does not respect your values, feelings, or emotions?
To put it simply:
Not at all.
8) Persistent sadness
True, not every relationship is filled with sunshine and rainbows. But if you find yourself feeling more depressed than joyful, something is quite wrong.
Relationships should provide color, passion, development, inspiration, or all of these things, to your life. What would be the point?
Psychology Today clarifies:
Although it may appear that the couple is eerily compatible and quietly successful on the surface, the lack of zest and vigor that is apparent can be a strong indicator that problems is about to arise.
There are no surprises, difficulties, or opportunities for progress. They will ultimately have little to say to each other and much less passion if their passive behavior remains within the partnership. The conflict between their actions within and outside of the relationship will ultimately eliminate one or the other if they are meeting their desires for transformation elsewhere.
9) You worry about being alone.
Are you only remaining because you fear being alone?
You should never take a relationship for granted. Period.
According to a series of research reported by Psychology Today, persons who are afraid of being single frequently find themselves in unfulfilling relationships. Even worse, they actively pursue relationships that they know won’t bring them happiness out of a fear of being alone.
The research also showed that those who “settled” are just as lonely and miserable as those who are single, proving that their efforts are being wasted and that it doesn’t really make a difference.
Don’t be one of those individuals who wastes years of their lives in a bad relationship because they are afraid of being alone. It simply isn’t worth it in the end.
10) Co-dependence
A healthy relationship should be balanced. After all, it includes two individuals who can cooperate, value, and pay attention to one another.
Relationships that are out of balance—where one spouse contributes more than the other—are neither healthy nor natural. Relationships are not autocracies where one person is in charge and the other is subordinate. It’s meant to be a two-person team that develops together.
Co-dependence may be harmful.
Dr. Edith Cattelan claims that a codependent individual experiences the following symptoms:
- You cannot find fulfillment or pleasure in life until you help someone else.
- Even if they are aware that their spouse performs unpleasant things, they continue the connection.
- No matter the cost to themselves, they will do whatever to appease and gratify their facilitator.
- Feel continual worry about their connection because they want to make the other person happy all the time.
- Give your lover all they ask for with all of their time and effort.
- They will not communicate any personal demands or desires since they feel guilty for thinking about themselves in the relationship.
- Disregard their own morality or conscience in favor of what they believe is right.
If any of the aforementioned statements apply to you or your spouse, it’s time to reexamine whether the codependency can be treated or whether you should stay in such a destructive relationship.
11) High expectations, little reward.
Do you and your spouse have unreasonable expectations of one another? to the point where you’re impeding each other’s aspirations for the future?
Healthy and loving couples don’t make needless demands that might impede their partner’s development and achievement.
In reality, partnerships should promote personal development and enjoyment rather than hinder it.
It’s time to reconsider your actions if you find that you continually putting essential life objectives on hold in order to keep the relationship together.
Did you once have a great relationship?
Have you given the relationship any thought, especially if you believe it is time to end it?
Why is the marriage in trouble? What went wrong if you formerly had a happy relationship?
You see, locating the solutions to these issues can be challenging. You feel as though you’ve struck a brick wall since you’re not sure what to do next.
In my situation, I’ve always been wary of seeking outside assistance. The good news is that I was able to test it out.
The best site I’ve come across for love trainers that are more than just talk is Relationship Hero.
They have seen it all and are fully equipped to deal with challenging circumstances, such as when it is appropriate to end a relationship.
I myself tried them the previous year when I was also debating leaving my boyfriend. They were able to cut through the din and provide me with practical solutions.
My coach was kind, took the time to fully comprehend my particular circumstance, and offered truly beneficial guidance.
You may speak with a licensed relationship coach in just a few minutes to receive guidance that is specifically tailored to your needs.
Time to Leave a Relationship? How To End Respectfully
If splitting up is the best course of action for you, you’ll discover it’s a difficult and frequently unpleasant undertaking. What individuals fail to know is that if the breakup is handled properly, many of the issues may be avoided.
The least amount of damage must be caused while doing it. It will not only make the process simpler, but it will also enable both partners to go on more successfully.
Here are some straightforward yet practical advice on how to end a relationship:
When making the choice, maintain objectivity.
It’s a tremendous mistake to decide to quit a relationship while you’re feeling so hurt. Even if it’s difficult, try to start by keeping an open mind.
Eloise D.Ricks, a licensed clinical psychologist, says:
It’s more difficult to think through problems or even contemplate answers while you’re feeling emotional. Every partnership must resolve some problems. You can think a situation is insurmountable or unacceptable in the heat of the moment when it is not.
Follow through with your decision
Don’t abruptly alter your mind and bring extra drama to the situation. Because of this, you must consider all your options before ending a relationship.
Once you’ve made a decision, don’t budge.
Expert in dating and relationships Arnold Seinz claims:
We frequently feel as though we must choose between two poor options. But keep in mind that if you’re willing to look hard enough, you can always find a medium ground.
Since there is neither a perfect plan nor a perfect moment to do this, moving ahead doesn’t have to wait until you have one. Move, breathe, and connect with the future you wish to create. You can talk to your lover after leaving this emotional region.
Have a solid support network.
The time has come to rely on friends and family. This is something that neither you nor your partner can go through together.
You must create a strong support structure as a result. Avoid being with individuals who encourage you to make poor decisions and instead surround yourself with those who love and boost you up.
Seinz suggests:
Friends, family, coaches, therapists, or anyone else who can securely hold a higher vision for you while you journey through this challenging transformation may all be a part of your support group. It’s crucial to be clear with them about the kind of accountability, connection, and heart space you require.
What if a relationship coach could help you?
Talking to a relationship coach can be very helpful if you are looking for specific advice regarding your situation.
This is something I have personally experienced…
When I was going through a tough patch in my relationship, I reached out to Relationship Hero. The insights they gave me into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track were invaluable for me after being lost in my thoughts for so long.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a website where highly trained relationship coaches guide people through difficult times in their love lives.
You can receive tailor-made advice for your specific situation within minutes by connecting with a certified relationship coach.
Despite being new to coaching, I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and helpful my coach was.
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