How To Leave a Toxic Relationship (And Find The Strength to Do So)

You were aware in your heart that it wasn’t love. Love wasn’t meant to be that way.

Love wasn’t meant to diminish your worth. However, your love did. And today you’re learning how leaving your toxic relationship is no longer a remote option.

Every morning when you woke up, your love had broken your heart. Every text you received from your sweetheart made you feel hurt. Each harsh phrase that your love whispered to you caused your destruction.

That wasn’t always the case. He wanted to give you the entire world when you first met him. He wanted you to feel protected and safe.

He wanted to shield you from evildoers and the cruel outside world by surrounding you with his love and keeping you in the safety of his arms.

If you’re curious about the nature of your relationship, check out our article about the different types of relationships and how to deal with them.

Isn’t that the fantasy of every girl? Isn’t that all you’ve ever desired?

Consequently, you agreed to it. So, having seen a light at the end of your dark and lonely tunnel, you decided to follow him blindly.

Who would have imagined that instead of pointing the way out, he would simply drag you farther into the shadows?

One small step at a time, he started to transform and reveal his buried “rotten” visage. The nagging started out mild: “You shouldn’t have done this, you shouldn’t have done that,” but it grew worse with time.

He started yelling at you for anything he didn’t like or approve of. He played music for you because he wanted you to dance.

You were a complete stranger to him; he wanted you to change into someone else who lived in his neighborhood. His miniature piece of art, he desired perfection from you.

So you turned into that. You were no longer able to recognize yourself. The person you used to be wasn’t you.

He made sure of that little by little, one thing at a time. He gave you advice on everything you did.

You were unable to respond even in your moments of perfect sobriety, when his words and actions weren’t drugging you and you were aware that you weren’t insane and weren’t accountable for the things he accused you of being responsible for.

He would disarm you as soon as the fight started.

He would convince you of falsehoods by inventing words and giving them life so they appeared to have come from your mouth.

You had no other option but to remain there and wait for him to finish since it was hopeless and you were lost.

Sometimes, you even made excuses for things you never did in an effort to silence him and get him to leave you alone. You were no longer able to tolerate his screams.

You may also like: How To Tell If You’re In a Toxic Relationship: 8 Clear Signs To Look For

Each and every one of his cruel, icy comments cut you to the very center of your being like rusty, dull swords.

You got to where you are today, which is far from him, as a result of those painful and humiliating experiences.

You didn’t realize that every toxic action he took gave you more courage to leave him, even if you felt like you couldn’t take any more of it.

Now that you are aware of it,

He would drag you back in each time you tried to leave. Every time you confronted him and complained about how he was treating you badly, he would apologize to you only to get you to stop complaining, treat you nicely for a few days, and then the cycle would repeat.

When he noticed that you had calmed down, he would return to being an absolute a**hole.

You kept hoping that he would change.

You were aware that there was a reason you fell in love with him, but you were no longer able to recall it.

You therefore kept hoping that he would change. You kept telling yourself it was only a phase and that he would get over it. You even made an effort to convince him that he wasn’t a decent person.

That was all in vain. If they don’t want to, these folks can’t change. It would be better if you never even tried because there is nothing you can do about it. You ought to have departed long ago.

But since you went, everything is OK. You must have found the willpower since all it took was one quick goodbye. Done. Now, he is history.

You mustered the courage to recognize your relationship for what it truly was—a toxic web of deceit. It got too much for you to handle when people lied and cheated.

You only broke. He was unable to stop there. Not only did he lie to you, but he also gaslighted and emotionally abuse you by getting you to believe falsehoods.

He misled you and coerced you into acting in his favor.

Finally, you mustered the courage to put an end to everything.

You made the decision to stop hurting. You made the decision that you wouldn’t waste your life on that pitiful fool who was suckling you dry.

He was no longer causing you to feel torn apart within, you determined.

You finally mustered the courage to tell yourself that you deserved more.

You’ve come to terms with the fact that life doesn’t go on forever and that by putting up with the wrong one, you might miss the right one.

You were aware that it was urgent to alter that. The love you were receiving was not what you deserved, and your relationship didn’t even come close to reflecting the amount of love you invested in it.

You mustered the courage to acknowledge that losing him would be painful. You’re going to get hurt, of course. No matter what he did to you, you grew accustomed to his presence.

He spent a lot of time in your life and is now no longer there. Even positive changes can be unsettling. The phase that immediately follows a breakup is the most terrifying.

Not to add that he made sure you would feel unloved and unworthy, you are hurting because you are alone.

You found the strength and courage to take charge of your life.

The most crucial realization you needed to make was this. You at last understood that action was required.

You came to the realization that you wouldn’t want to keep living this way. Perhaps your friends and family can support you right now, or perhaps you need expert assistance.

Never be afraid to seek for help or to take action, no matter what. Beyond leaving your toxic relationship, there are many more steps ahead of you in life, but that is the most crucial one. A life without him, one without being abused.

Related stories:

Living An Emotional Rollercoaster With Your Relationship? Causes & How To Deal With It

Can White Lies Be Justified in a Relationship? (8 Things You Should Know)

Feeling like an option? 8 signs your relationship is at risk + what to do