Being jealous of your lover can seriously sabotage the love you two have for one another in a romantic relationship.
The fact that your significant other is arousing the emotion at first might appear charming, but after some time, you’ll probably be able to clearly identify its drawbacks. Fortunately, there are strategies for understanding how to handle jealousy in relationships. All you need to know is where to start.
Overall, a jealous partner shouldn’t necessarily be a deal breaker in a relationship.
Some people struggle with trust because of failed relationships or splits, but if both parties are determined to work through the challenges, they can frequently be resolved.
Finding out why your partner is feeling jealous in the first place is the greatest place to start, especially if you haven’t given them a reason to be suspicious of you. There are several degrees of jealousy that you should be aware of as well.
Jealousy is a natural human emotion, but it can absolutely be bad under some circumstances, according to Dr. Gary Rosberg. Healthy resentment is when a person lets their anger push them to do something to make themselves better.
For instance, if your friend is a little jealous that you have received a promotion, they might be motivated to put in just as much effort as you to advance in their own career.
However, if your partner is acting violently and attempting to dictate what you do, it is viewed as unhealthy. If you believe that this is a reoccurring issue in your own relationship, please call The National Domestic Violence Hotline.
However, if you believe that your partner’s jealousy could use a little bit of restraint, you might want to try to resolve the problem with your partner. While it could reassure them that they don’t need to keep that emotion in the relationship, it can also strengthen your friendship with each other.
These five ways will help you address your partner’s jealousy if it’s been piling up lately.
If you’re curious about the nature of your relationship, check out our article about the different types of relationships and how to deal with them.
1) Discuss your partner’s anxieties and fears
It can be wise to sit down with your partner and ask them specifically what’s going on if you feel that their jealousy is having a significant negative impact on your relationship.
Be sure to pay attention when they explain what exactly makes them jealous, and don’t be shy about telling them how their behavior makes you feel.
According to PsychAlive, a nonprofit organization for psychological support “Never attempt to downplay, reject, or correct”your anxieties. Do not attempt to manipulate your partner’s fear.”
Do not minimize, degrade, denigrate, or threaten the fear.” Basically, if your partner chooses to confide in you, don’t attack them. Give them your full attention and be sympathetic.
2) Avoid being defensive about your own actions
Don’t start an argument immediately away if your partner starts to make unfounded accusations about you.
Take a step back and assess the circumstance. If you become defensive, your partner is likely to misinterpret your conduct or reflect your feelings, which will make them even angrier.
Consider talking to your partner calmly and coming to a solution together rather than becoming defensive. Reassure your partner that you’re there to work with them and that you’re not leaving in order to strengthen your relationship and allay their fears.
But if you’re thinking about quitting the relationship for any reason, now might be a good moment to be forward and honest about that as well.
You may also like: Is Your Partner Too Jealous? 14 Telltale Signs They’re Out of Control
3) Display more affection
After talking about their tendency to be jealous, attempt to be especially loving to your partner at this sensitive moment.
The New York Times advises being affectionately giving at this time. For instance, giving your partner greater physical affection could hasten their mental recovery. You want to be as helpful as you can by letting your spouse know how much they matter to you, even though what they are feeling may not make sense to you.
Of course, this doesn’t imply that you should put up with their mistreatment if there is a severe case of unhealthy envy.
As previously mentioned, if your partner’s jealousy is so severe that it has caused things like forcing you to avoid hanging out with particular friends or them never wanting you to leave their side out of fear that you will cheat, then the problem is serious and you should think about getting help or even ending the relationship altogether.
4) Establish Limits
It’s not a bad thing to set boundaries with your partner. Many happy couples establish these rules so that both partners are aware of each other’s emotional states and priorities.
Leslie Becker-Phelps, Ph.D., a psychologist, is quoted by PsychCentral as saying, “You need to know what you enjoy and dislike, what terrifies you and what makes you comfortable, and how you want to be handled in specific situations.” After that, try to be explicit about your demands and those of your partner, and be direct going forward.
5) Be accessible and accommodating
Being as responsive as you can when your partner contacts you can improve the situation, even though this is something that your spouse must resolve on their own.
Being there for your partner when they need you the most, you can reduce their tendency to become jealous.
The trust between the two of you will only increase if your significant other observes that you’re available and receptive, even though it may require a lot of work.
…and very important when dealing with a jealous partner
Keep returning to the problem and be patient
This problem won’t be resolved overnight. Try to be patient with your partner and show that you’re willing to work with them to solve this problem by being supportive and keeping the conversation going about their worries.
Try to be patient as you practice new methods of speaking with your partner. Do not let the time and emotion involved deter you from attempting to resolve the issue.
Together, celebrate your tiny successes as you work to solve the problem one day at a time.
There isn’t really an easy way to deal with a jealous partner, but if you both want the relationship to last and the jealousy isn’t excessive, you can both put in the effort to make it work.
A fantastic approach for your partner to be vulnerable is to discuss their feelings and the reasons they are jealous with you. Be understanding of their emotions, but don’t be hesitant to impose boundaries when they do.
The more you talk about everything, the simpler it will be for you both. If you don’t give them a reason to doubt you, this minor bump on the road should go away because trust goes a long way.
You think about him all the time, but he thinks only about himself?
It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you.
He needs to be understood in his own way.
You’ll find there’s a subtle thing you can say to him that will dramatically change how he shows his emotions towards you once you do that.
Learn how to become his top priority in this free video by Relationship Psychologist James Bauer.
Would you like one-to-one advice on how to handle a jealous partner without breaking up?
For a one-to-one live consultation, let me recommend RelationshipHero’s network, who provide empathetic, professional support with tailored advice on your relationship. They simply provide the best of traditional therapy, through a well-run live online service:
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