Can You Be in Love But Not Physically Attracted To Someone?

As we think of falling in love, we imagine that we are falling for someone who we love in every way. In some cases, you may find that although you have a love connection with someone you met through your dating life, you are not sexually attracted to that person.

The purpose of this article is to discuss whether you can fall for a person who isn’t physically attractive to you. Moreover, we consider the slightly different angle of whether it is possible to be in love without physical attraction in the first place, or to have love at all without physical attraction.

As to whether it is possible to love someone and not be sexually attracted to them, there are obviously two schools of thought. Yes, some will argue that it is possible to love someone in a romantic way without having sexual feelings for them. 

This may sound impossible to those who need that spark or physical chemistry in their life.

So how does that love connection work for those who believe it is possible not to be attracted to someone even if you love them? If someone is not attracted to them sexually, their love for their partner comes more from a companionship and intellectual connection.

To those who place a great deal of emphasis on intellectual connections, it is possible to fall for someone with these two characteristics. A connection where the brain is stimulated and challenged by the person with whom they are interacting. In other words, a person that needs an intellectual attraction doesn’t need a physical one. It may be that they don’t consider sex a big part of a relationship, nor do they consider passion or desire a necessity. Instead of focusing on a relationship’s tactile aspects, they focus on a mental meeting. Perhaps they aren’t even aware of it.

Those who seek passion and chemistry in a relationship, as well as that elusive spark, will have a difficult time understanding this point of view. Their view is that a relationship is neither serious nor loving without sexual attraction and the need to be physically close to the person they love. An individual can’t be in love with another without these two aspects of their relationship.

Several people think this way because they consider sex to be the way that they distinguish between close relationships and others. Those who argue that there must be a sexual spark in a relationship will argue that what is the point of being in love with someone who is not physically attractive to you? The chemistry in their romantic relationships sets them apart from their platonic ones.

Those who feel that physical attraction isn’t necessary to be in love are likely to find this viewpoint interesting. For them, sex is not necessary, but they wish to ensure that they and their partner are aware of their respective positions when it comes to sex. Even though the relationship appears to be just like any other platonic friendship, do they both know that they are in a committed relationship.

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Falling In Love Without Attraction, Is It Possible?

It is possible for some of these people to argue that over the course of their relationship they no longer feel physically attracted to their partner, but at the beginning there was that spark between them. In other words, both sides of the relationship once had chemistry or attracted to each other and sex once formed a part of their relationship.

Many people in long-term relationships , particularly those with marriages that span decades, will admit that they no longer have a sex life to talk about anymore and that the relationship has become far more platonic. They were initially attracted to each other and that’s how they became a couple.

The process of falling in love is very different from attraction simply dwindling and falling away, which takes time. The decline in attraction has more to do with people’s hormone levels as they age rather than with the actual attraction. The possibility is there though, especially if you’re one of those people who don’t consider sex to be intrinsic and integral to their relationship.

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Nevertheless, there is an old saying that states “Love is blind“. Therefore, falling in love with someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you are into them physically because love is such a powerful emotion and force that it completely blinds you to a person’s appearance in the first place. 

In other words, someone you wouldn’t normally have a spark with might actually have some strong appeal somewhere else, making falling for them a possibility.

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Can You Love Without Physical Attraction?

Love without physical attraction might be one of the more understandable ways for those who are interested in a partnership to discover how they can work together without sex. In fact, love can grow between two people – especially when they are friends first – even when sex or spark was not initially necessary. When love simply takes time to grow, it can also do so without the first stages of passion that are usually associated with dating in the early stages.

The answer is yes, one can love without physical attraction. However, some might argue that one might not be able to stay in love without it for very long. Some might be able to comprehend it, but never see themselves making it happen. For a relationship to work, sex, desire, and attraction to people sometimes simply have to be there.

The majority of couples therapists advocate having a healthy sexual life within a marriage or relationship. But there will be issues when two people have markedly different needs. When one partner has very strong feelings of attraction while the other does not, this can lead to problems further down the road.

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The Bottom Line:

Can You Love Someone You Don’t Find Physically Attractive?

Despite the fact that it is possible to love someone without having a physical attraction for them, the likelihood of this happening depends on the persons involved.

Unfortunately, if you are asking yourself, can I fall in love with someone without a physical attraction, the reality is that you need sex in a relationship for the relationship to work or to keep you interested.

The situation is not unusual. Relationships are often driven by sex and desire, and people tend to be sexually charged beings. While this level of libido can fluctuate from person to person, and can dramatically change over time, for the most part we are all wired to enjoy sex and be attracted to our partners sexually.

Although, as stated, this requirement is small and easy to forget about for some, this is not the case for all. In other words, they need a connection that is based more on a meeting of minds and intellectual stimulation that will keep them engaged.

As a conclusion, whether or not you can have a fulfilling relationship without the spark or sexual fission will really depend on who you are. Some people may be able to cope without any physical chemistry between them and their partner, but it may be absolutely necessary for you. The reason for this is both understandable and normal – some people get a spark by being intellectually on the same level, while others need to be touched physically. In fact, some argue that both are necessary to the success of a partnership.

Have you ever been in a relationship that didn’t depend on physical chemistry? Have you fallen in love with someone with whom you had no physical attraction? Share your story with our readers below. You could also share this article with somebody who is currently going through some emotional turmoil – trying to decide whether they have fallen for someone with whom they are not attracted.

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