I became single last year (again). But the reason why I can’t seem to get a good relationship is another story.
I know I’m a little late to the party, but I jumped into the world of dating apps for the first time. And, while it wasn’t all horrible, I can see why almost no one wants to be there.
It can appear like modern dating makes it difficult to meet someone special.
So, where do you go to meet new people in real life, date, and perhaps find love if you don’t use tinder?
We’ll look at how to meet someone without using internet dating in this article.
Note: If you wish to learn more about the art of dating, be sure to also check out the article we dedicated to unconventional dating advice for women and the 12 golden tips you wish you’d known earlie
What are the alternatives to online dating?
Although up to 39% of couples meet online these days, that still leaves a large number of people out.
There appears to be merit in meeting in person as well, as data reveals that married couples who meet online are six times more likely to divorce.
Although online dating is becoming more common, we do not prefer it.
According to a survey, 84% of Millennials would still prefer to meet someone in person.
Some people may consider dating apps to be a waste of time if they are not meeting anyone. Others simply like in-person, natural chemistry.
Audry, 39, summarizes the issue that many of us face:
“I’ve tried several dating apps, but abandoned them a few years ago. I find there’s a lot of sifting through chaff involved — kind of like real life, really, but with more people who are in it for a one-night stand.
Also, all that swiping gets tedious after a while, and most people can’t piece together a compelling profile, so it’s not even like you get an interesting read!
I still find meeting people through friends is the best way. Or, through social causes — volunteering for a charity, etc. — I recommend that as quite an effective method to meet like-minded people. Otherwise, I don’t think people should rule out watering holes. I’ve found a couple of long-term partners that way.”
There are numerous reasons why you may be tired with applications and choose not to use them.
However, you may be wondering, “What can I do instead of online dating?” Here are ten easy methods to meet singles in a natural setting.
How to meet people in real life (without using online dating)
1) Request introductions from friends, family, and coworkers.
Shared acquaintances are still the most common route for people to meet partners.
This could be friends of friends, family members, or even coworkers. The trust factor is an advantage of meeting someone through people you already know in real life.
If you already have folks in common, you are more likely to have commonalities, values, or opinions.
This is especially crucial while dating because research shows that opposites do not attract and that we are drawn to those who are similar to us.
One of the drawbacks of meeting people online is the ‘needle in a haystack’ feeling of coming across “your type of person.”
Make it known to the individuals in your life that you are actively looking. They can connect you up with people they already know who they believe would be a good fit for you.
It doesn’t even have to be a formal date. You can always keep things casual and set up a circumstance where you two can meet and see if you click.
2) Start conversations in real life.
Learning to converse is a social skill that is useful in life in general, but especially when it comes to dating.
Instead of viewing it as “chatting someone up,” get into the practice of starting up nice and engaging conversations wherever you go. This may be at a coffee shop, a bus stop, or while waiting in line for groceries.
If something seems strange, or if you don’t know what to say, look about you for signals on what to say. For example, if you’re waiting in line at a cafe, ask the person in front of you if they’ve ever had the Iced Dark Chocolate Mocha.
It’s actually far easier to talk to strangers when you’re alone rather than with friends or in a group. If you’re alone, you’re more likely to be approached.
The internet has the ability to make us lethargic. However, make a concerted attempt to engage with your fellow humans.
You don’t need an agenda, and you should only try to chat to those who are romantically interested in you. The key to increasing your confidence is to practice this on a frequent basis so that it becomes second nature.
When it comes time to begin up a discussion with the cutie you truly like, it will feel less awkward and forced.
When you meet someone you like, go ahead and ask them out or give them your phone number.
Sure, it takes more guts to approach someone in person than it does online (where the computer feels like a barrier), but you might be surprised.
Overcoming the fear of rejection and being okay with hearing “no” is a vital component of dating that we must all learn to conquer.
It’s a truth of life that not everyone will be interested in us. But, as with anything, the more we do it, the less significant it becomes.
Learn more about romantic questions to ask a man when dating.
3) Allow your energies to flow.
Without even recognizing it, the way we are perceived by others offers them either a green light or a huge fat red stop sign.
The issue is that we can get locked in patterns that keep us walled off yet we don’t even realize it. It’s all in your demeanor and body language.
For example, whether you are smiling at people or walking with your head down and headphones on. Are your eyes up and looking around when you wait in line, or are they firmly fixed on your phone?
I have a very nice and open friend. We ran across some people she knew once.
“How did you two meet?” I inquired… “At the Post Office,” she explained. Yes, she had met and befriended a complete stranger while visiting the same Post Office.
The reality is that you can meet someone in any public place, including the park, grocery store, and, yes, even the Post Office.
It’s less about the location and more about if you’re willing to let chance meetings happen and progress.
If you are locked off, you will struggle no matter where you go to meet someone.
4) Attending events
I recently noticed an amusing meme that said:
“I’m single at 25 and need to get out and meet someone.” If it’s meant to be, the appropriate person will discover me in my own house.”
The undeniable ease of dating apps is that you can look for dates while sitting on the couch.
Wearing regular clothing instead of pyjamas and combing your hair are absolutely optional. Unfortunately, meeting people offline takes a little more work.
It may sound obvious, but if you want to meet someone in real life, the more you really get out there, the better your chances are.
That involves significantly increasing your socializing, which can be difficult if you are a natural introvert.
When someone invites you to a social function, start saying yes.
Going to friends’ parties, coworking spaces, picnics, gigs or concerts, gallery openings, and so forth. The more you socialize, the more opportunity Cupid has to locate you.
They claim that you meet people when you least expect it. This is why boosting your chances of meeting someone by chance is the name of the game.
5) Invest in yourself
One of the most unpleasant aspects of internet dating has to be the difficulty in finding someone who shares your interests and with whom you will connect.
Dr.Paul Eastwick, associate professor of psychology and relationship researcher, speaks about the frustrations of internet dating:
The two most common complains I hear from online daters involve frustration about how rarely they meet someone in real-life and how even more rarely they end up liking the people they meet. Research shows that interest generally wanes after the first real-life meeting.
That is why doing what you enjoy is the best way to meet like-minded people. For example, if you enjoy art, you should visit galleries and museums.
Experimenting with new interests that fascinate you can also introduce you to a whole new network.
Pursuing your own hobbies has a clear double benefit. Even if you don’t meet “the one” straight away, you may still have fun, broaden your horizons, and improve yourself.
6) Workout in the gym
Any type of exercise activity can be substituted for meeting someone at the gym. If you’re not a gym person, no worries; you can do it at a fitness class, yoga studio, hiking club, even Bootcamp in the park.
If you enjoy a particular sport, such as sailing, bicycling, jogging, or triathlons, you should consider joining a local club.
Jeremy, 32, told Psychology Today that meeting someone when you’re already in your environment gives him an extra boost of confidence.
“I meet girls at the gym, which is a good habit in and of itself! — and it works out well. I’m in my element there, and that’s where your self-esteem is highest, in your element, area, or competence. I wholeheartedly endorse it.”
However, one word of caution. If you’re looking for a date at your gym, avoid staff members such as personal trainers. I speak from experience when I say that you may find yourself in the unpleasant position of needing to move gyms when you no longer want to see him.
7) Enrolling in a class
I’m currently learning Spanish and will resume group classes soon. One of the main reasons I chose in-person seminars over online study or one-on-one tutoring is that I want to meet more people.
You never know when the man or woman of your dreams will be sitting next to you. If not, it’s another method you’ve expanded your network.
Make friends and be friendly. Even if sparks aren’t flying with anyone in the class, they could be the one to introduce you to your new beau.
Have you ever wanted to try your hand at kickboxing? Do you want to recreate a scene from Ghost by taking a pottery class? Perhaps you’ve been meaning to enhance your cooking abilities.
Meeting someone in real life while learning something new is another win-win situation.
And you could be thinking, “Well, that’s wonderful in a pre-pandemic environment, but how do you find someone without online dating during covid?”
The good news is that classes do not have to be held in person, as one couple demonstrated by falling in love and marrying after completing the same online course.
They rapidly became friends on a class discussion board before beginning to communicate on the phone. They were engaged less than a year later after some long-distance dating.
“If this narrative had been written by someone, it would’ve seemed too good to be true… We weren’t looking for each other, but when we met each other, it was kind of like, ‘Hey, this feels perfect.'”
It only goes to show that Cupid can strike at any time and from any location.
8) Nightclubs, bars, and nightlife
Meeting someone on a night out is another ‘blast from the past’ in terms of romance, yet it is still alive and well.
“Meeting individuals at bars is fairly usual, especially by today’s standards.” Consider bars to be the sea, where there are always “lots of fish.”
…says dating expert Jeannie Assimos.
The relaxed and casual atmosphere, along with a drink of anything alcoholic for a little Dutch bravery, can make things feel more comfortable.
If you find yourself always hanging out in the same places, explore new places and shake up your routine.
If you go to the same areas all the time, you’re more likely to meet the same people.
Go out with your pals, have fun, and approach anyone that catches your attention to strike up a discussion.
9) Networking and social gatherings
Last year, one of the nicest things I did was join Bumble, not for dating, but for Bumble BFF.
If you’re not familiar with that feature, it allows you to meet new people in your neighborhood.
While online dating tools may not be our first option, they can still be a terrific method to connect with others.
I expanded my network simply by making new female friends.
Similarly, depending on where you reside, you may be able to find local meetup groups for certain hobbies or networking groups.
Joining a Facebook Group in your region can also be an excellent method to strike up a casual conversation with others.
10) Volunteer organizations
Volunteering can be a terrific way to get involved in your community if you have a specific passion or a cause that is important to your heart.
Not only will you be giving back, but you will also meet other people that share your interests.
Charities and goodwill efforts earn you karma points and may help you meet someone special, whether it’s for animals, human rights, or assisting the homeless.
Conclusion: is it possible to meet someone in real-life without using online dating?
Regardless of what we think, I’m not sure it’s any easier to meet someone offline these days.
I believe it’s partly because many of us have lost our courage — both the work required to put yourself out there and the time required to wait for love to show up.
We’ve lost patience with real-world romance because dating apps have given us the idea that we can have it whenever we want. We don’t always appreciate the timetable that serendipity seems to follow in the age of serial daters.
It is, nevertheless, very possible to find love organically with patience, tenacity, and a dash of bravery.
What if a relationship coach could help you?
Talking to a relationship coach can be very helpful if you are looking for specific advice regarding your situation.
This is something I have personally experienced…
When I was going through a tough patch in my relationship, I reached out to Relationship Hero. The insights they gave me into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track were invaluable for me after being lost in my thoughts for so long.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a website where highly trained relationship coaches guide people through difficult times in their love lives.
You can receive tailor-made advice for your specific situation within minutes by connecting with a certified relationship coach.
Despite being new to coaching, I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and helpful my coach was.
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