Is Your Partner Too Jealous? 14 Telltale Signs They’re Out of Control

It’s normal to feel a little bit of jealousy in a relationship, it can even be a sign of love.

However, when that jealousy becomes too much and starts to affect your daily life, it can lead to abusive behavior.

In this article, we’ll discuss 14 essential signs that may indicate excessive jealousy in your partner.

It’s important not to ignore these warning signs as they could be a red flag for an unhealthy relationship.

But don’t worry, we’re here to help.

At the end of this article, we’ll provide you with an incredible resource that can support both you and your partner.

So, let’s dive in and explore these signs together.

If you’re curious about the nature of your relationship, check out our article about the different types of relationships and how to deal with them.

1. Becoming possessive of your time and attention

One of the earliest signs of excessive jealousy in a partner is their possessiveness.

Initially, it may appear as protectiveness, such as wanting to go with you when you meet friends at night.

However, you’ll soon realize that you’re unable to do anything on your own.

A jealous partner may not want to share you with your family and friends, leading to arguments or making you feel guilty for not including them in your plans.

And when you do manage to get some time away from them, they’ll probably react negatively. In other words, they’ll make you pay for it.

2. Always checking in on you

Picture this: you’re out with your friends, and your partner knows where you are and when you’ll be back.

That should be enough, right? You’re an adult, and you’re capable of taking care of yourself.

But if you’re dealing with an excessively jealous partner, they’ll call and text you multiple times when you step out of the house.

They’ll even want to know who you had lunch with and why you took so long to reply to their messages while you’re at work.

In other words, they’ll want to know your every move and who you’re with.

It’s like having an Emily from Friends in your life.

This behavior is not only controlling but also a sign of excessive jealousy.

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3. Things you can and can’t do

In addition to constantly checking up on you, an excessively jealous partner will also try to enforce specific rules that dictate what you can and can’t do.

These may include who you see, who you’re allowed to talk to, who you can be friends with on social media, and where you can or can’t go.

The bottom line is that a jealous partner wants to maintain control over you, and by setting rules, they feel they can achieve that.

However, it’s not healthy and shows a lack of trust and deep-seated insecurities on their part.

It’s essential to remember that you have the right to make your own choices and decisions.

No one should control your life or dictate what you can or can’t do.

A healthy relationship is built on trust, respect, and mutual understanding.

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4. Are you flirting or what?

Another crucial sign of excessive jealousy in a partner is when they constantly accuse you of flirting.

For instance, you might smile and say thank you to the waiter who brings your food, and your partner accuses you of fancying them.

It’s important to remember that you’re not doing anything wrong.

If your partner is extremely jealous, they’ll view every interaction you have with the opposite sex as flirty or inappropriate.

However, I understand that when faced with this behavior constantly, it can make you doubt yourself and question whether you’re giving off a flirty, sexual vibe.

It’s crucial to recognize that this is a result of your partner’s insecurities and not your actions.

5. Constantly checking your phone and social media accounts

Social media can be a jealous partner’s worst nightmare, and it’s another crucial sign to look out for.

If your partner controls who you connect with online, wants to know your passwords, or goes through your messages, these are major red flags.

It’s not only a sign of a lack of trust and respect on their part, but it can also leave you feeling violated.

After all, your mobile phone and social media accounts are for your personal and private use.

While sharing your password with a partner isn’t unusual, it should be your choice, and not something you feel obligated to do.

It’s important to set boundaries and make it clear that your personal space and privacy should be respected.

If your partner is excessively jealous and controlling, they may use social media as a tool to monitor your every move.

6. Unjustified overreactions

Another crucial sign that you shouldn’t ignore if you’re worried your partner is excessively jealous is if they overreact to every little situation.

I already gave an example of smiling at the waiter or waitress in a restaurant, but it can extend to any situation.

For instance, a friend of mine once told me that her boyfriend accused her of incest because she hugged her younger brother for “too long.”

Another friend said her partner had a go at her for asking a man in the street for directions when they were lost on holiday.

If your partner seems to blow up at normal, innocent interactions, it’s a red flag that you should definitely take notice of.

It’s not healthy or normal for your partner to overreact to every little thing, and it’s a sign of deep-seated insecurities and trust issues.

It’s essential to communicate with your partner and let them know that their behavior is not acceptable.

If they’re unwilling to listen or change their ways, it might be time to reassess your relationship.

7. Trying to control what you wear or how you look like

Have you ever experienced your partner trying to control how you look?

They might get upset when you get a haircut or put makeup on.

They may even accuse you of dressing a certain way just to get attention, rather than acknowledging that it’s simply your style.

The reality is that your partner acts this way because they don’t want anyone else to find you attractive.

This is another crucial sign to be aware of as it indicates that their jealousy has crossed over into the extreme side.

Once again, this behavior goes back to their own insecurities and trust issues.

It’s not healthy or normal for your partner to try to control how you look or dress. You have the right to express yourself and feel confident in your own skin.

8. Having trouble trusting you

Does your partner constantly display suspicion towards you?

As we’ve established, if they show any of the signs mentioned above, they likely have trust issues.

This could manifest as never believing what you say.

For instance, if you tell them someone is just a friend, they’ll keep pressing until they get the answer they’re looking for, regardless of whether it’s the truth or not.

This can lead you to feel like you have to lie.

You may avoid telling your partner certain things, even completely innocent things, simply because you don’t want to deal with the barrage of questions that will follow.

It’s important to recognize that this behavior is not normal or healthy in a relationship.

Trust is a fundamental aspect of any healthy relationship, and if your partner doesn’t trust you, it’s a red flag that needs to be addressed.

9. Needs to be reassured all the time

If your partner is excessively jealous and controlling, seeking support from a professional or trusted friend can help you navigate the situation and make informed decisions.

If your partner is excessively jealous, they’ll likely need constant reassurance from you.

I once dated a guy who constantly asked if I found my coworkers more attractive than him.

It became incredibly draining, to the point where I stopped hanging out with any male friends or colleagues.

While we all need a little bit of validation in our relationships, if your partner constantly needs reassurance, it’s a sign that something isn’t right.

It’s important to remember that you are not responsible for your partner’s insecurities or trust issues.

While it’s okay to provide reassurance from time to time, it’s not healthy or normal for your partner to constantly need it.

10. A Hot temper

If your partner has a hot temper, it’s another crucial sign that you should never ignore.

This behavior can be a sign of jealousy if they’re usually quite relaxed but suddenly go from 0-100 when feeling threatened.

For instance, they may get upset when someone attractive walks past or when you speak to a shop assistant.

It’s important to be extra cautious about this behavior because a quick temper can easily turn into verbal or physical abuse, especially when it’s so easily triggered.

If your partner displays this behavior, it’s important to communicate with them and address the issue.

It’s not healthy or normal for your partner to react with anger or aggression, and it’s a sign that they need to work on their emotions and coping mechanisms.

11. Good Manipulators

Manipulating your emotions is another crucial sign that your partner could be excessively jealous.

This behavior can manifest in various ways, such as guilt-tripping you into doing what they want, making you feel bad for going out without them, or even making you feel worthless to break down your self-esteem.

Another common tactic used by jealous people is pretending to be upset to stop you from seeing friends or family.

However, it’s essential to recognize that this behavior is more about your partner feeling in control than anything you’ve done.

By playing with your emotions, they get what they want, regardless of how it makes you feel.

It’s not healthy or normal for your partner to manipulate your emotions to get what they want, and it’s a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

If your partner displays this behavior, it’s crucial to address the issue and set boundaries.

12. Making threats or ultimatums to try to control your behavior

If your partner keeps threatening to end the relationship whenever you do something they don’t like, it’s a clear sign that you’re dealing with an extremely jealous partner.

For instance, if you want to go to your Christmas office party, but your partner doesn’t want you to, they may accuse you of wanting to flirt with your coworkers, overreact to the situation, and threaten to break up with you if you go.

This behavior is another form of emotional abuse and manipulation, and quite frankly, you shouldn’t have to put up with it.

We all deserve to feel free and secure within our relationships, without the threat of a breakup looming over us for doing normal, everyday things.

If your partner displays any of the signs mentioned above, it’s important to address the issue and seek support if needed.

It’s crucial to communicate with your partner and let them know that their behavior is not acceptable.

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13. Trying to isolate you

Sure, I can extend this point for you. Trying to isolate you from others or limit your social activities is another crucial sign of an excessively jealous partner.

This behavior can manifest in various ways, such as discouraging you from spending time with friends or family, insisting on being with you at all times, or even going as far as to forbid you from seeing certain people.

This behavior is not only unhealthy but also dangerous, as it can lead to feelings of isolation and dependence on your partner.

It’s crucial to recognize that this behavior is a form of control and manipulation, and it’s not normal or acceptable in a healthy relationship.

If your partner displays this behavior, it’s important to address the issue and set boundaries.

It’s crucial to communicate with your partner and let them know that their behavior is affecting the relationship and your well-being.

It’s also important to maintain your independence and social life.

Spending time with friends and family is essential for your mental health and well-being, and it’s not something that your partner should be able to control.

14. The Past Relationships Taboo

Getting upset when you talk about past relationships or experiences is another sign of an excessively jealous partner.

This behavior can be a red flag, as it shows that your partner is threatened by your past and may be insecure about your relationship.

They may feel like they’re competing with your past partners or that your past experiences diminish their importance in your life.

It’s important to recognize that your past is a part of who you are, and it’s not something that you should have to hide or be ashamed of.

Your partner’s jealousy and insecurity around your past are not your fault, and it’s not something that you should have to deal with in a healthy relationship.

If your partner displays this behavior, it’s important to address the issue and communicate with them.

It’s crucial to let them know that your past is not a threat to your current relationship and that their jealousy is affecting the relationship and your well-being.

It’s also important to set boundaries and maintain your independence.

Your partner should not be able to control what you talk about or who you talk to. It’s essential to maintain your autonomy and self-respect in a healthy relationship.

Conclusion: Can you fix excessive jealousy?

The point is, there’s very little you can do in this situation that you haven’t already tried.

You’ve likely wasted months or even years trying to reassure your partner, gain their trust, and prove your love for them.

And none of it has worked because the issues, their jealousy, comes from within them. It really has nothing to do with you.

So, real change can’t happen until they make the decision to get help.

However, that could take a while, so my advice is to protect yourself first and foremost.

Remove yourself from the relationship before it gets worse (and it will).

But if you’re determined to stay and try to work things out, I’d suggest checking out these guys at RelationshipHero.

Their online coaching support is a real eye-opener on how we can project our insecurities and high expectations onto our partners.

While it won’t solve all your problems overnight, it could get the ball rolling – empowering you while giving your partner some understanding of where their jealousy comes from and how to start overcoming their insecurities.

Here’s the link to RelationshipHero again.

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