Talking to someone can be really uncomfortable when you feel like they’re putting on a show.
That’s because they’re probably not being genuine.
The next time you have a conversation, you can tell if they’re being real by looking out for certain phrases.
Genuine people never say these things!
1) “It was not a big deal, honestly.”
We often feel like we’re expected to be humble and not make a big deal of our successes when others compliment us.
Therefore, we employ expressions like “oh it was nothing” and “no, I was just fortunate” to give the impression that it is not a huge issue and lead people to believe we are modest.
No trace of humility can be found in that sort of attitude–only arrogance!
Authentic individuals recognize it as it is and are more disappointed that people are pretending to be unsatisfied or unhappy.
When in reality, they really are (and there is nothing wrong with that!).
Authentic human beings tend to be completely genuine, and they take compliments at face value.
People often respond with “Thank you, I worked hard on it” instead of “It wasn’t much, I didn’t really try
Even though it’s known that they put in effort.
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2) “That’s my point.”
This particular expression can cause quite a stir in a person who is of integrity.
This expression is indicative of someone who is lacking in courtesy, and it creates an aura of disingenuousness.
When someone utters the words “I’m just saying”, one can be certain that whatever follows is not just an idle comment.
As a result, the speaker is attempting to exonerate themselves from any blame for what they are about to say.
It is often those who most frequently use “I’m just saying” that are accountable for the most damaging and outmoded opinions on the planet.
Those who are authentic comprehend this, and thus, they will stay away from uttering phrases such as “I’m merely expressing” and “with complete consideration” or “Not to be rude but…”.
In the event something they say displeases others, they will be honest and unafraid to confront the resulting anger.
3) “I shall never…” and “I shall always…”
Those who are sincere are aware that speaking in definitive terms is not wise.
You may firmly declare that you will never be unfaithful to your romantic partner, or that you will always back up your pals without fail.
And you might truly believe these assertions when you declare them.
No matter what, the only certainties in life are death and taxes.
Occasionally, relationships can go bad, leading to infidelity, or a friend’s actions can be so harmful that you can’t stand by them.
In order to remain authentic, those who are genuine will generally not express extreme statements with regards to morals and ethics such as “never” and “always”.
If they are allergic to shrimp, for example, they will refrain from certain activities.
4) “That’s too much sensitivity!”
Real individuals could experience vexation when the ones they converse with become intensely emotional or incensed, yet one thing they certainly won’t do is complain that the other party is being overly sensitive.
In this situation, bringing up such a thing does not help; it only causes further animosity and makes them appear childish.
People who boast about having a thick skin are often more vulnerable than others who boast about having a thick skin.
It is essential to attempt to comprehend why people are displaying sensitivity.
It is clear that different people can have different interpretations of the same thing – something innocuous to one individual may have a deep impact on another.
5) Our neighbor gave us news regarding…
For those who strive for authenticity, gossip is a virtual contagion.
Mention anything about what one of their friends said about one of yours, and the person would flee swiftly.
Viewing gossip as a detrimental activity that can damage the lives and reputations of those being talked about is a common opinion among many.
Gossip is certain to be affected by the biases and false conclusions that have been included each time it is passed from one person to another.
Individuals of a genuine character not only oppose gossip on moral grounds but also recognize its unreliability and damaging effects.
Therefore, they tend to keep away from it whenever possible.
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6) “No way! Did you honestly think I’d do that?”
Liars and people who aren’t genuine tend to put in a lot of effort in order to be perceived as reliable.
In these situations, one may ask questions such as “Could you have ever imagined that I would break faith with you?” or “How could you ever consider that I’d betray you?”
Making assertions like this won’t assist in any discussion, but instead make the person who questioned integrity look and feel foolish.
A sincere person will not engage in such unscrupulous tactics and become wary if others do.
7) “I’m just attempting to have a constructive discussion”
When conversing with someone they do not see eye to eye with, people who lack sincerity often attempt to initiate a disagreement instantly.
It is not their intention to start a debate or engage in a discussion.
In order to initiate the dialogue, they will attempt to express “legitimate worries”.
Then, they’ll use illogical statements and flawed reasoning to spin everyone in circles until everyone becomes too exhausted to continue.
A common trolling tactic on social media is known as sealioning, which is intended to ensnare people into an argument and tire them out or anger them to the point of responding in rage.
Authentic individuals understand this instinctively, and those who don’t will immediately dislike it.
It’s never the case that someone who is genuine would say “take it easy, I’m just trying to discuss something.”
When they engage in a discussion, they will quickly get to the point, explain their ideas, and then attentively hear what other people have to say.
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8) “I’m too busy now…”
Genuine people avoid using this phrase because it can come across as dismissive or uninterested in the conversation or person they are speaking with.
Instead, they may say something like, “I have a lot on my plate right now, but I’d like to make time for that later”…
Or “I’m currently tied up with a few things, but let’s schedule a time to discuss this further.”
These responses acknowledge the other person’s request and show that the speaker is willing to make time for them in the future.
Honesty is important, but it’s also essential to communicate without making the other person feel unimportant.
9) “If you are looking for someone to be accountable, seek out…”
One trait of inauthentic individuals is to pass the blame onto someone else.
A lot of people are unable to take responsibility for their actions without providing an excuse or justification.
Was it due to an absence of the proper groceries for dinner? That was a result of being sidetracked and then forgetting the grocery list.
Did they neglect to accomplish the task accurately? That was because something was disrupted by a colleague that they needed for the job.
No one who is sincere would act in such a way and be serious about it. In rare instances when it is obvious that the person is only making a joke, then it might be acceptable.
If something wasn’t done properly, then they should take responsibility for their mistakes.
The acceptance of their shortcomings is what makes genuine people unique.
10) “I’m the one in control here, so let’s end this conversation.”
Individuals who lack self-confidence and have a need to demonstrate their worth or are trying to conceal something may employ any approach to gain control.
One should avoid using power to silence individuals, particularly those expressing constructive criticism or alternate perspectives.
Rather than misusing their power, authentic individuals are more likely to spark dialogue, and only exercise their authority if absolutely necessary.
In their opinion, they don’t need to coerce others to give them their attention if they are sincere and sure of themselves, as others will naturally lend an ear.
11) “I understand I made a mistake, however…”
Those who are sincere take caution when utilizing the word “but.”
That one little word can easily transform a sincere query or compliment into something insincere and deceptive.
In their view, once they utter the word “but”, whatever they have just stated is rendered moot.
Authentic people have a certain approach when it comes to expressing themselves; they refuse to start any statement with the word “but”.
They take a pause and eliminate it from their speech.
Unless they can express themselves without resorting to the word “but”, they will have to ponder over the reason.
In stark contrast, those who lack authenticity often use “buts” as a means of avoiding responsibility.
Concluding remarks
Sadly, it can be difficult to ascertain if someone is a genuine person as there is no one-size-fits-all answer.
However, by being mindful of the general sayings and clues that can indicate a person’s authenticity, one can begin to grapple with the complexity of a person’s character.
Context and tone are essential components to consider when trying to decipher if someone is genuine.
Paying attention to the way people speak and the type of arguments they prefer can be more telling than simply honing in on the exact words they use.
Ultimately, it is important to remember that each individual is unique and that there is no definitive answer when it comes to trying to identify a genuine person.
