10 unlikely signs a couple will breakup from a relationship coach

Love and relationships often seem inscrutable, but there are hidden signs that a couple breakup might be on the horizon.

Antonija Bosanac, a seasoned relationship coach, sheds light on 10 unconventional indicators of an impending breakup.

Join me today, as I delve into these subtle signs through the eyes of a professional, offering you a fresh perspective on relationship dynamics.

Discover the unexpected clues that signal trouble in paradise and understand why they are often overlooked.

And, if you wish to learn more about the different stages of a break up, read more on how to deal with them.

1. The Silent Partner Syndrome: When Less Communication Isn’t More

You’ve noticed it—your partner has become the “silent type” more often than not.

What used to be endless chats about everything under the sun has trickled into a stream of ‘hmms’ and ‘oks’.

“In my experience,” Antonija shares, “this shift usually indicates that something’s amiss. It’s not just about being comfortable in silence but rather about what’s not being said.”

When couples stop sharing the small details of their daily lives, they’re often starting to detach emotionally.

This silence isn’t just awkward; it’s speaking volumes about the health of the relationship.

But here’s the kicker: not everyone sees this the same way.

Some think it’s just a phase, a natural ebb of conversation in a long-term relationship.

Others, like me and perhaps Antonija, see it as a bad sign, a red flag waving that warns of deeper issues brewing beneath the surface.

“Often, couples in this stage are either unaware of the gap, or worse, ignoring it,” she adds.

“They don’t realize that these growing signs of silence are significant indicators that a couple may be heading towards a breakup.”

Tip: Take note if conversations with your partner have dwindled—it might be time to break the silence and start talking again.

Related: 7 powerful steps to let go of someone you love (even when it feels impossible)

2. Scheduled Spontaneity: When Plans Feel More Like Obligations

Remember when date nights felt like adventures?

Now, if you’re anything like some couples I know, they might feel more like calendar appointments.

Antonija Bosanac, a relationship coach, notes, “It sounds contradictory, right? Scheduling spontaneity? But it’s surprisingly common. Couples do this to maintain a sense of normalcy as their emotional connection wanes.”

This strategic planning might keep the relationship mechanics moving, but it can drain the genuine joy and surprise out of intimate moments.

She explains, “It’s like sticking to a script because you’re afraid of forgetting your lines. This can signal a lack of genuine desire to be together in an organic, joyful way.”

And opinions are split here.

Some argue that with today’s busy lifestyles, scheduling is the only way to ensure that you spend time together.

Others, like me, wonder if it’s a sign that the spark is fading—turning what should be spontaneous romantic gestures into just another box to tick.

“When you start viewing your time together as an obligation,” Antonija points out, “it’s a significant red flag.”

Tip: Try mixing up the routine with unexpected small gestures to keep the spark alive.

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3. The Hobby Hypothesis: Increasing Engagement in Separate Interests

It’s one thing to have personal hobbies, but what if these activities start taking up all your time?

Antonija Bosanac observes, “While it’s healthy for partners to have individual interests, an obsessive focus can suggest they’re filling a void the relationship no longer covers.”

This scenario often unfolds subtly.

One starts a new gym class, the other finds solace in painting, and suddenly, they’re more excited about their hobbies than spending time together.

This increasing divide can raise the question: Is it personal growth or a shift in priorities?

“I’ve seen couples who genuinely grow through their separate interests,” Antonija shares, “but I’ve also witnessed relationships where these hobbies become a refuge from relationship issues.”

It’s crucial to check in with each other, ensuring that these interests enhance rather than replace the emotional connection you share.

“Indeed, when hobbies start to dominate a relationship, they can be subtle signs that a couple might be on the path to a breakup.”

Tip: Encourage each other’s hobbies, but also find new activities to enjoy together.

4. The Third-Party Proxy: Using Friends or Family to Communicate

Ever gotten a message from a friend, weirdly echoing your partner’s words?

“Using friends or family as messengers is a tactic I see in couples who struggle with direct communication,” says Antonija.

This method can seem convenient, especially in conflict situations, but it’s fraught with risks.

Miscommunications can spiral, and emotional distance can grow.

“It’s like playing a game of telephone; the original message often gets lost in translation,” she explains.

Are we just too busy, or are we avoiding the tough conversations that direct communication demands?

Antonija points out, “Relying on others to convey your feelings can inadvertently signal that you’re not willing to engage directly with your partner.”

It’s essential to break this habit to maintain a healthy, direct dialogue within your relationship.

Tip: Directly addressing issues with your partner strengthens trust and understanding—skip the middleman.

5. Emotional Flatlining: When Arguments Disappear

It’s strangely quiet at home these days, isn’t it?

No arguments, no heated debates—just silence.

“You might think it’s peace, but it’s often not,” says Antonija Bosanac.

“When couples stop arguing completely, it usually means they’ve stopped caring enough to engage. Arguments, when constructive, show that you’re both still invested in resolving issues and growing together.”

So, this eerie calm can be deceptive, masking a deep-seated indifference that’s worse than any argument.

Why do opinions differ on this?

Some see the absence of conflict as a relationship milestone, a sign of maturity.

However, I believe, and so does Antonija, that it can also signal a worrying disconnection.

“It’s vital to differentiate between peace that comes from understanding each other better and silence that stems from giving up on each other,” she notes.

“Indeed, such silence can be one of the subtle signs that a couple is heading towards a breakup.”

Tip: Notice a lack of arguments? It might be time to spark a conversation about the state of your emotional connection.

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6. The Digital Disconnect: More Screen Time, Less Face Time

Ever found yourselves scrolling endlessly, barely exchanging words during what was supposed to be ‘together’ time?

“This trend of increasing screen time can be quite telling,” Antonija explains.

“Often, it’s not just about catching up on emails or social media—it might be a way to escape from issues in the relationship.”

When partners choose their phones over personal interaction, it suggests a retreat into individual digital worlds, away from the shared reality.

Is this just modern life, or is it a symptom of something deeper?

The debate is ongoing.

While some argue that technology is just another aspect of daily life, for others, it’s a clear sign of emotional withdrawal.

“Balancing screen time and face time is crucial,” Antonija advises.

“Too much of the former can erode the foundational intimacy of your relationship.”

Tip: Try designating tech-free times to reconnect with your partner—no phones allowed.

7. The Support Withdrawal: Declining Interest in Partner’s Successes and Failures

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When was the last time you genuinely celebrated a win or comforted a loss for your partner?

Antonija points out, “A key sign of emotional distancing in a relationship is when you no longer share in your partner’s highs and lows.”

This withdrawal of support can subtly undermine the partnership, leaving individuals feeling alone even when they are together.

This change often sparks a division in how people view their relationship’s health.

Some may think it’s just a phase of being comfortable or busy, but as Antonija clarifies, “It’s crucial to remain engaged with your partner’s life. Disengagement might not just be a phase but a sign of a deeper emotional rift.”

“These signs can be early warnings that a couple might be on the path to a breakup, requiring urgent attention to mend the bonds.”

Tip: Re-engage with your partner’s life; ask about their day and share in their challenges and victories—it strengthens bonds.

8. The Unusual Reconnection: Reaching Out to Old Friends and Exes

Have you noticed your partner texting someone from the past lately?

Antonija Bosanac often sees this in her coaching.

“Reaching out to old friends or exes can sometimes point to unmet needs in the current relationship,” she explains.

It’s not just about reconnecting; it’s about seeking the emotional excitement or support missing at home.

But not everyone agrees on the interpretation.

While some see this as harmless nostalgia, others view it as a red flag, signaling deeper relationship dissatisfaction.

“It’s important not to jump to conclusions but to open up a dialogue about these reconnections,” Antonija advises.

Often, this behavior can serve as a wake-up call to rekindle the emotional intimacy that’s dwindling.

Tip: If your partner is looking back, it might be time to bring more excitement into the present.

9. The Physical Shift: Sudden Change in Appearance or Health Regimens

A sudden gym membership, a new wardrobe—sounds like self-improvement, right?

According to Antonija, “When one partner starts a dramatic transformation, it could be a deeper signal. Perhaps they’re seeking validation outside the relationship.”

This significant change often stirs mixed feelings.

While supporting personal growth is crucial, it’s essential to understand the motivations behind these changes.

Is it about feeling better or looking good for someone else?

“These changes can either be a positive step or a sign of growing apart,” says Antonija.

“It’s crucial to communicate openly about these changes and what they mean for both of you.”

Tip: Embrace and discuss changes; it can strengthen your bond or reveal underlying issues.

10. The Predictable Excuses: Routine Avoidance Tactics

“Sorry, I’ve got another late meeting.”

If this sounds familiar, it might be more than just a busy schedule.

Antonija Bosanac points out, “Frequently using work or other commitments as excuses to avoid spending time together is a classic sign of creating emotional distance.”

But why?

Sometimes, it’s easier to bury oneself in obligations than address unsatisfying aspects of a relationship.

Are they genuinely overwhelmed, or is it an escape tactic?

This question often divides opinions.

“Understanding the true intent requires honest communication,” Antonija stresses.

“It’s about finding out whether these are legitimate reasons or methods to avoid deeper issues.”

“Observing the signs a couple might head towards a breakup requires a keen eye on such dynamics,” she notes.

Tip: Notice too many excuses? It’s time for a heart-to-heart about what’s really going on.

The Coach Final Thoughts: Reconnecting or Moving On

Antonija Bosanac gets right to the heart of it, “It’s about being proactive, not reactive. Recognizing these signs early can make all the difference.”

She recalls a couple who came to her just in time to reverse their emotional drift, thanks to acknowledging these subtle indicators.

“Open communication or seeking professional help early can prevent a lot of heartaches,” she reflects.

Her stories not only showcase the potential for recovery but also highlight when it might be healthier to part ways amicably.

Tip: Don’t wait for a crisis; address small issues before they become big problems.

Wrapping Up

We’ve explored 10 subtle signs that a couple breakup might be on the horizon—each one a crucial piece of the puzzle in understanding relationship health.

Remember, the key to a lasting partnership isn’t avoiding problems but facing them head-on with awareness and effective communication.

Whether these signs lead to reconnecting or respectfully moving on, the first step is always to recognize and address them.

If any of these signs ring true for you, consider talking to a relationship expert or coach like Antonija.

I hope you’ve found insights here that resonate with your experiences.

Feel free to share your thoughts or stories in the comments—we’re all here to learn from each other’s journeys in love and partnership.

FAQs

How to tell if a couple is going to break up?

To discern if a breakup is imminent, observe for key signs like reduced communication, emotional disconnection, and a lack of quality time together.

Changes in daily interactions and physical intimacy can also be subtle signs that a couple’s relationship may be in trouble.

How do you know when a relationship is ending?

When a relationship is nearing its end, you might notice warning signs such as constant conflict, emotional or physical withdrawal, and a significant decrease in engaging conversations about future plans.

A sense of dissatisfaction and unresolved conflicts are often telltale signs.

How to tell a breakup is coming?

A breakup may be on the horizon if there are frequent arguments over small issues, a decline in emotional intimacy, or if partners start spending more time apart.

Signs like these suggest that the romantic partners are struggling to maintain a healthy relationship dynamic.

At what point do most couples break up?

Most couples tend to break up after enduring long periods of unresolved conflict, communication breakdown, and diminishing affection.

Key moments often include significant life events or when the realization that their goals in life no longer align becomes undeniable.