11 Sure Signs Your Ex Is Testing The Waters (What To Do)

Have you ever found yourself looking for signals that your ex is flirting with you? First and foremost, if you are feeling this way, they may have given you signs or led you on.

But why is that? Haven’t you both gone through enough? Whether it’s an ex-girlfriend or an ex-boyfriend, the fact that you’re wondering, “Why is my ex checking up on me?” indicates that they’re making their presence known.

The big question now is, how do you feel about that? Let’s examine the important symptoms that your ex is testing you and try to discover answers to the perplexing question, “Why is he testing me?”

Signs Your Ex Is Testing the waters

Is my ex putting me to the test? They most certainly are if you can relate to all or most of these behavior patterns!

1) Attempting to make you envious

One of the first indications that your ex is testing you is if they try to make you jealous.
I know what you’re thinking: But they’re happy in a new relationship?

Let me tell you something right away: this is a complete lie.

If they’re truly in love, they won’t care whether or not you know about it.

What, however, does your ex do? They do everything they can to make sure you hear about their supposed happiness.

If they happen to run into your best buddy, they’ll tell them all about their new romance. They continue to upload new selfies on various social media accounts, hoping for your reaction.

One thing is certain: your ex wants you back; otherwise, they wouldn’t be doing all of this.

They’re plainly in a rebound relationship since they haven’t moved on from you.
Showing them jealousy will demonstrate that you still care. A sign that they’re free to ditch this new individual and pursue you.

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2) Investigating the past

Let’s face it, you and your ex broke up for a reason. If your ex is mature, they will wish to release this emotional baggage before rebuilding your relationship.

Sometimes it appears like they are rummaging through the past for no apparent reason other than to destroy your heart even more. One of the most prevalent causes for this type of behavior, believe me, is that they want to clear the air before giving your romance another opportunity.

Your ex will return if they are certain that you are both over all that has transpired, and it is your responsibility to show them that you have changed.

After all, what’s the point of reuniting if you constantly returning to the difficult events of the past? Now is the time to demonstrate to them that you are fully aware of your mistakes and do not intend to repeat them.

Of course, this type of conduct could indicate that your ex is simply looking for closure. In such case, they would not exhibit all of the other symptoms on this list!

3) Attempting to sleep with you

Here’s a difficult one. You and your ex are on excellent terms, but they’ve been acting strangely lately. But you can see through it: they’re attempting to entice you into bed.

I must admit that this is a difficult decision. On the one hand, you could see it as a hint that your ex misses you and wishes to get back with you.

It can, however, be a trap at the same time.

What if they intend to use you and never call you again?

If I were you, I’d consider this one of the signals that your ex is putting you to the test. They’re trying to figure out if they can have you anytime they want and if you’ll give them anything they want.

It’s one thing if all you want is physical pleasure. If your ultimate goal is reconciliation, here’s some relationship advice: don’t do it, especially if they have a new boyfriend or girlfriend.

Every relationship expert will tell you the same thing: make it obvious that they cannot have only a portion of you. You’re a complete product, and your body comes with strings attached.

4) Using the no-contact approach

The no-contact rule is the universal method for making an ex miss you. Your ex pretends to be over you and vanishes from your life just so you can sense their absence.

They plainly require your approval. They’re sitting at home, waiting for you to make the first step and reach out to them.

If they firmly adhere to the no contact rule, they will not contact you first, even if their life depends on it. On the contrary, they are waiting to see what you will do about it.

This person most likely believes you take them for granted. Maybe you think they’ll always be there no matter what, and they’re trying to prove you wrong.

Will you contact me? Or are you going to wait for the no-contact restriction to expire? It’s all up to you!

5) In-depth, personal inquiries

Your ex has been calling and texting you with strange inquiries recently. They’re dealing with subjects they’ve never dealt with before.

Have you ever considered that your ex testing you is a means for them to re-acquaint themselves with you? This is especially true if you and your ex-partner split up a long time ago.

They want to know your position on several critical subjects. Have you changed your mind about particular issues that used to upset them?

Here’s some exciting news: it’s conceivable they’ve realized you’re marriage material and are testing the waters. There is no doubt that they still have feelings for you.

However, they also want to make sure you’re compatible. They’re asking you these in-depth personal questions to gauge your stance toward issues that are important to them.

6) Going hot and cold

I know we all despise mind games.

You have no notion where you stand and have no concept what will happen tomorrow. When it comes to how they treat you, your ex is anything but consistent.

One day, they act as if they’d give their life to be with you again. To be more specific, it may appear that nothing has changed and that you are simply continuing where you left off.

But there’s another side to this hot and cold story. There will be occasions when your ex will not be located.

They suddenly stop responding to your texts and phone calls, and they don’t want to meet up. They no longer text you or check in, and even your mutual acquaintances are baffled as to what has happened to them.

And just when you think you’ve accepted that they’re out of the picture for good, they make a spectacular comeback! Before you know it, you’ve returned to square one, and the cycle has begun again.

Is this one of the signals that your ex is putting you to the test? Without a doubt, yeah!

But please be cautious, since this may not be the type of test you were hoping for from them. It’s possible that they’re just trying to see how far they can go before you leave for good.

7) Testing your loyalty

Every relationship guru will tell you the same thing: if your ex wants to get back together, he or she will want you to be faithful during the breakup.

When I say loyalty, I don’t mean remaining faithful.

Of course, they’ll be disappointed if they discover you’ve had a new relationship in the meanwhile. Loyalty, on the other hand, is far more vital.

Your ex will check to see if they can still rely on you. Did you break their trust while you were apart?

Did you do something considered taboo, such as date a mutual friend? Did you slander your ex and your entire relationship after you split up?

They might ask you directly about these issues, or they might ask around. In any case, if you pass the loyalty test, you’ll most likely reconcile.

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8) Being active on social media

Let’s face it: your ex is still chasing you. They aren’t a psychopath that follows you around and looks through your windows at night.

They do, however, use sophisticated technologies to monitor your activity.
That’s right, I’m referring to social media.

They never miss your story updates, and they enjoy all of your articles and regularly look through your follower list.

Of course, there is another set of ex-lovers who remain in the shadows. You’re still pals on social media, but they pretend you’re not there.

Any form of behavior is a type of test. First and foremost, they are most likely anticipating your response.

Will you be the first to enter their direct messages? Will you like their postings in return and play this small game?

Will you, of course, post anything fishy? Will they discover evidence of a new girlfriend or boyfriend?

9) Handing you the control

One of the signals that your ex is testing you is that they give you the option to make a decision.

They announce their objectives clearly, but you hold the power.

They obviously want to see if you’ve matured since your split. How do you intend to accomplish this?

Will you ever consider reconciliation? If you answered yes, how will you fix your problems? You obviously have some; else, you wouldn’t be together.

Do you intend to proceed carefully, or do you want to carry on with your relationship as if nothing had happened?

You’re the boss, so plan every step and think things through before acting!

10) Testing your success

When a relationship ends, you begin to see your ex-partner in a new light. That’s exactly what your ex has been doing while you two have been apart.

They understand that you’ve reached a fork in the road: you’ll either end things permanently or turn this into a long-term relationship, if not marriage.

They may not have thought your financial situation and career were important when you were together, but now they want to know whether anything has changed.

To be honest, this is something that women do more than males. But you can’t say, “My ex-girlfriend is a gold-digger,” just because she tests your success.

She’s basically looking to see if you’ve moved from a dead area. Have you gotten a better job or a raise? Are you more inspired to create something of your life now?

This is not to say she is exclusively interested in your money. She simply wants a financially secure partner by her side, someone with whom she can plan her future.

11) Your limits are being tested

Sometimes your ex continues to harm you in many ways.

They know you still love them, and they’re not testing your resolve to see if you’ll accept them back, they’re testing your limits to see how far you’ll go.

They’ll be seeing other men and women without even trying to conceal their feelings. They mistreat you in various ways and treat you like garbage.

At the same time, they prevent you from leaving whenever you try to move away. They appear to want nothing to do with you, but despite putting you through hell, they stick by your side.

There is no doubt that this individual will want to get back together with you at some point. They aim to thoroughly break you till that happens.

Essentially, they are lowering your expectations. You’ll be settling for the breadcrumbs they’ve been throwing at you before you know it.

As a result, you will not beg for more in the future. Actually, you’ll be overjoyed when they eventually decide to name your connection.

Here are a couple additional signs that your Ex may be testing you.

Taking Charge

If you have a toxic ex, they will exploit this time apart to exert even more power over you. You miss them, and they are aware of it.

Even if you refuse to admit it, the truth is that you would do almost everything to get them back. Accepting their possessive conduct is part of that.

They’re not testing your limits this time. Instead, they impose their commanding bounds on you.

They physically prevent you from hanging out with your friends, demand that you remove your social media, and exert other forms of control over your life. At first, you might interpret it as proof that they still love you. Why else would they be so envious?

Let me tell you, this is a huge red flag. They are taking entire control of your life by exploiting your vulnerabilities. And they’re putting you to the test to see how far they can push you.

Of course, by the time you two reconcile and realize what you signed up for, it will be too late to amend the terms and conditions.

They’re asking for your help

One of the signals that your ex is still testing you is that they continue to ask for your assistance. Don’t interpret this as someone taking advantage of your generosity.

Although this is feasible, it is more probable that your ex is determining whether or not they can rely on you. Obviously, this is only possible if you and your partner remain on good terms.

They keep creating reasons for not reaching out. You’re the only person they trust for guidance and the only person who can help them when they’re in trouble.

There is no mistake about it: your ex still has a lot of faith in you. At the same time, they worry if you’re still the same person who is willing to move mountains for them.

If you can demonstrate that you are, you will be able to re-enter their world.

Concentrating on your romantic life

Is my ex putting me through a test to discover if they’re interested in my love life? Without a doubt, yeah!

It’s obvious that your ex is jealous, but they’re not doing anything exceptional to win you back. What’s the story there?

Every relationship expert will tell you the same thing: they’re literally allowing you to find someone new.

Are they acting this way because they don’t love you and want you to go on? Certainly not!

They don’t want to be the one you settle for if someone better is available. They don’t want to make your life easier.

They want you to have options and to always select them, regardless of the competition. They want to know that if you can’t have them, you’d rather be alone than with someone else.

Looking back on the good old days

The fact that your ex keeps bringing up the good old days is a clue that they are testing you. How will you react if they bring up the past? Will you shift the subject or begin to smile flirtatiously?

Everything they need to know will be revealed by your reaction. But it isn’t all.

They want to know how you see everything that happened between you two from your perspective. Do you recognize your errors, and would you do anything differently?

This is your opportunity!

Frequently Asked Questions

How Do You Know If Your Ex Is Testing You?

If your ex wishes to communicate with you under the guise of remaining friends, they are most likely testing the waters. This is especially true if they continue to flirt with you while sending you confusing signals.

They’re not asking for a second chance just yet, but they’re curious whether you’ll grant them permission to keep trying to get you back.

How Can You Tell If Your Ex Is Attempting To Get Your Attention?

If your ex goes out of their way to make you jealous, it’s a solid indication that they’re attempting to gain your attention.

They constantly rubbing their new relationship in your face in order to elicit a reaction from you.
They’re also likely to contact your friends and relatives rather than calling you directly. Or they’ll just make random drunk calls and text messages to you and pretend nothing occurred in the morning.

How Can You Tell If Your Ex Really Wants You Back?

If your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend wants to re-enter your life, they will do all in their ability to do so. They’ll find reasons to visit you or hear from you.

They’ll constantly reminding you of the good old days, hoping to entice you back with nostalgia. This person will stalk your social networking apps in order to keep up with what’s going on in your life.

And don’t forget about their envy. They can’t bear the thought of you dating someone else since they still consider you theirs.

Want them back? then here’s what to do

1) Think clearly.

It feels fantastic to know that your ex is now treating you as the most important person in their life. There is no denying it.

But, before you go yelling “Hallelujah!” from the rooftops, pause for a moment and turn on your brain.

Look, you two got divorced. That breakup was for a purpose. It most likely wrecked you for a while!

So, instead of going in headfirst and collecting your prize, take a moment to reflect. Take things slowly and try not to repeat the mistakes that led your relationship to go apart in the first place.

After all, it would be awful to get back into a relationship only to have it fall apart again.

2) Consult a relationship coach.

It’s natural to develop biases while dealing with complicated love relationships. And that those prejudices are likely to prevent you from making the best option possible in this situation.

That is why I advise you to seek the advice of a third party. A buddy can assist, but even friends are not always objective.

That is why I recommend speaking with a professionally trained relationship coach, such as those found on Relationship Hero.

They not only understand what makes relationships work, but they have also helped many people solve their problems in the past… This provides individuals with firsthand insight into why relationships fail or thrive.

And with this knowledge at their disposal, they can advise you on whether you should give your ex another chance or remain away for good.

So go ahead and click here to get started.

3) Don’t waste any more time if you do want them back!

So you’ve deliberated and determined that you want them back in your life.

Great!

All that remains is for you to take the risk and tell them how you feel. You could always try to make them chase you, but being direct is usually much better.

You’ve already squandered so much time apart. Why squander any more time?

Just be certain that you:

• Tell them exactly what you want this time, and have learned from your mistakes.
• Take care not to rush your connection.
• Keep expectations in check.
• Approach it as though it were a brand-new relationship.
• Keep your friends and family up to date.
• Leave the past alone.

Conclusion

All of the indicators that your ex is testing you are right here! So, what are your plans to address it?
Everything depends on how you want this to end.

If you want to get your ex back, you must pass all of their tests. Give them exactly what they want and persuade them that your relationship is worth another chance.

However, if you don’t see a future here, don’t spend your time or energy on these mental games. What exactly is the point? Simply cut them off and go about healing your damaged heart.