Is there anything that truly makes a relationship extraordinary? Does it have anything to do with communication? Is it beneficial for couples to set relationships rules? Which behaviors weaken or destroy a relationship?
All it takes are a few principles to measure your relationship. We all have rules we believe a relationship must follow in order for us to be happy. The problem arises, however, when we impose too many rules or dictate our relationship rules based on what we get out of it rather than what we give, a relationship can quickly turn into a nightmare. Although many of us are adept at setting healthy boundaries in our professional and platonic relationships, we struggle with setting healthy boundaries in our romantic relationships.
Couples have a different set of relationship rules than other types of relationships because of the intimate nature of romance. In order to stay connected to each other, how can couples learn to set up healthy relationships rules? There are a few straightforward, powerful concepts that can help.
If you’re curious about the nature of your relationship, check out our article about the different types of relationships and how to deal with them.
What are Healthy Relationship Rules?
Have you been in a relationship that failed? Perhaps you have been betrayed or failed to keep the spark alive, resulting in the union fizzling. Relationships that fail are usually due to following the wrong rules or failing to adhere to any boundaries or healthy rules at all. Fortunately, you can start over and create the relationship you deserve.
Healthy Relationship Definition
The rules of relationships aren’t things like, “My partner must tell me ‘I love you’ every day” or “My significant other has to be home for dinner every night.” Instead, they are ideas that help you be gentle with your partner, see the bigger picture and acknowledge the beauty of uncertainty in relationships. The rules of a healthy relationship don’t limit your relationship or your union. Instead, they foster growth and eliminate destructive expectations that stifle you as a couple.
You Must Know the 6 Human Needs First
There is only one rule that supports an extraordinary relationship: Love. The only way to experience true love and bliss in your relationship is to apply these principles to the two final human needs: growth and contribution. Couples should follow these relationship rules, which remind them to give more of themselves and develop their relationship. In order to be successful and meaningful, relationship rules must always be rooted in love.
Establish a Safe Space
Humans are driven to love. However, if there aren’t any rules, anxiety and depression can result, as well as an unhealthy power struggle. Selfishness or the desire to be right are not the basis for love – rather, it’s a safe harbor where you consistently strive to understand and appreciate your partner. In this space, you support one another when you’re stressed and celebrate when one or both of you succeed. Don’t forget: A relationship is not a place where you go to receive, but a place where you go to give.
The 10 Rules Couples Should Use in Relationships
Follow these 10 rules if you want your relationship to enhance your human experience and make you and your partner feel a great deal of love. Getting to know your partner, banishing blame, and celebrating life will be easier if you follow the 10 cardinal relationship rules.
1. You should never doubt the intentions of your significant other or the nature of your relationship.
The fact that you encountered a problem today does not mean that the relationship itself is problematic. Never doubt the intentions of the person with whom you’re in a relationship, and never forget that you share a deep love for one another, regardless of what happens.
2. Do not correct the other person.
People with a competitive nature often find this to be the hardest rule to follow. This does not mean you should allow your spouse to be wrong. In simple terms, you and your partner create a fun and easy way to switch states without fighting, instead of arguing.
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3. Do not get stuck in a repetitive pattern.
Everyone has patterns. The brain uses them to save energy and can even benefit from them. Unfortunately, they also lead to stagnation. Try changing your perception, your actions, your responsibility frame, and more if things aren’t working.
4. You should never threaten your relationship.
While a little uncertainty is fun, relationships that are “on again, off again” or in which one partner consistently threatens to end the relationship are never healthy. In healthy relationships, respect and equality are the rules – and these behaviors create an imbalance of power.
5. In your relationships, C.A.N.I. is essential.
The key to fulfillment in relationships and life lies in committing to CANI (constant and never-ending improvement). Never tolerate anything less than an extraordinary relationship. Develop a growth mindset.
6. Appreciate, compliment, and acknowledge the wonderful, fantastic, and unique aspects of your partner.
In order for a relationship to flourish, there must be polarity, or different energies between the partners. The masculine energy wants to be recognized. The feminine energy wants understanding. By complimenting your partner every day, you meet both of those needs.
7. Do not compare your relationship to anyone else’s.
A comparison with others can lead to disaster – and it’s hard to prevent. The majority of people put their best face forward on social media, but remember that you don’t see what goes on behind the scenes. You don’t have to worry about anyone else as long as you’re happy with your relationship rules.
8. All upsets with another person are rules upsets. Remember that.
As with our patterns, we all bring expectations to a relationship about what the other person needs to do or how it should be. Respect your partner’s different rules, but don’t discount their feelings because of it. Make your relationship a priority over your expectations.
9. Build a sense of connection by associating with positive anchors.
Anchors like family rituals fulfill two of our most basic human needs: certainty and connection. Your relationship will be stabilized and closer together as a result of these events.
10. Decide that loving someone is more important than being rightThere is no one else you can control but yourself.
The only person you can control is yourself. It is ultimately up to you to embrace healthy relationship rules and learn how to resolve conflict. The choice to prioritize your relationship over being right will always lead to fulfillment and avoid arguments.
Are you ready to experience the kind of love you’ve only dreamed about? You and your partner will experience a transformation in your relationship as you consistently follow the 10 cardinal relationship rules for couples. Rather than feeling unbalanced in your relationship, struggling to get your needs met and meet your partner’s needs, you’ll begin to notice how the relationship is meeting both of your needs, drawing you closer to one another.
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