The understanding of whsat men want in a relationship is useful whether you are just getting into a relationship or have been in one for decades. It is easy to believe they want exactly what you want, but this is not always the case.
Understanding how a man’s mind operates might help the whole relationship.
Men think and feel differently than women. They each have different communication methods and emotional needs.
Most men are hesitant to commit because they are concerned about losing their social freedom and self-sufficiency.
To combat this, your relationship must be changed to meet his needs, including those he is unaware of.
Here are some ideas for giving a man what he wants in a relationship. If you can apply all of them to your relationship, you can be certain that it will be healthy, and your man will appreciate your efforts.
Note: If you’re curious about the art of attracting the right man into your life, be sure to also check out the article we dedicated to the 10 surefire steps to getting a man to chase you.
Make your relationship a need (This is how he’ll commit)
Men come from Mars, whereas women come from Venus.
Men and women differ on many levels, including physical, emotional, and communication differences.
Women are socially open, which makes it easy for them to make friends with other women. However, their normal way of making friends won’t work with men.
This is just one of the reasons why men pull away.
If your man refuses to commit to you, it’s time to modify your strategy.
Commitment is a choice. Commitment is not a unique personality attribute that only a few people possess. Fear of commitment is also not an acceptable reason.
Even if a person has a proclivity to avoid attachment, they can make a different decision.
Your partner is probably hesitant to commit to you since he isn’t sure about you yet.
He may not recognize the value you bring to his life, or he may not feel safe enough to show you his flaws.
In any case, something has to alter for him to decide to commit to you.
What is the solution? Treat your man with respect.
You must comprehend things from his perspective and change accordingly, rather than pressuring him to shape his life around yours.
Women frequently believe that men do not require or value their thoughts, support, and admiration.
This could not be further from the truth.
Men prefer to be handled in a way that does not diminish their egos or make them feel insufficient.
They enjoy being praised and recognized for the things they perform well. Above all, they want to be told that they are wonderful men who are well-liked and cherished.
Simply put, men and women care about the same things. Even if there are many distinctions between the sexes, we connect via our eyes (just like soulmates) and have the same basic needs.
So, if you truly want your partner to commit to you, you must figure out how to make your relationship something he needs.
Men’s needs in a relationship: 21 ways to transform a convenience into a necessity
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Men, contrary to popular belief, are not a confusing puzzle that must be solved.
To persuade your spouse to commit, simply convince him that this relationship is what he needs.
To accomplish this, you must provide him with everything he desires in a relationship.
Here are 21 ways you can improve your relationship:
1) Compliment him
His need To receive your approval and admiration.
What to do: Consistently complimenting him
Men’s egos are surprisingly fragile, so lavish them with compliments. Take the time to remind your spouse of the things you appreciate about him and to reassure him of all his characteristics.
Don’t worry, it won’t inflate his ego to the point of insanity.
Tell your partner exactly what you like about him and compliment him on his abilities.
When he does something wonderful for you, compliment him. You’ll discover that encouraging remarks will make him feel cherished.
The more you praise his great qualities, the more you will notice and appreciate them.
You may also like: 10 Proven Steps to Make Him Chase You (And Fatal Mistakes to Avoid)
2) Allow him some breathing room.
The need: To Spend Some Quiet Time Alone
What to do: Being considerate of his time.
Every individual requires alone time. It allows us to recharge, reorganize, and reconnect with ourselves.
This is especially true for men, who tend to prefer independence above connection.
Providing him with adequate space and time for himself will keep him from feeling suffocated by the relationship.
Allow your boyfriend to roam and be alone every now and again. Allow him to unwind after work and avoid making too many plans for him when he has free time.
When you let him breathe, he’ll appreciate your faith in him and your shared link.
You may like: How to Get Him to Spend More Time with You: 13 Simple Yet Effective Ways
3) Let him be vulnerable.
The need: To have a safe haven for his feelings.
What to do: Being there for him and assisting him in healing.
Society trains men from a young age to avoid appearing weak. Signs of “weakness” are sobbing, moaning, exposing anxieties, or voicing doubts.
This is why it takes men longer to open up emotionally as they develop.
As a companion, you must nurture him when the gaps in his armour appear.
When he first cries in front of you, he needs to make sure you won’t be turned off or mishandle it.
You must learn how to assist him in working through negative feelings like sadness or fear without pushing him away.
You will never be able to bridge that emotional gap if you do not do so.
4) Don’t choke on his “hero” side
The need: To be needed.
What to do: Make him feel appreciated when he comes through for you.
Men desire to feel like Superman, not Clark Kent, according to James Bauer’s hero instinct theory.
They want you to be impressed by what they do, and they don’t want you to look down on them.
It’s tough to pinpoint exactly what will make your partner feel this way, but you might try occasionally asking for his assistance.
Demonstrate to him that you value his thoughts and suggestions. Always express your admiration for his abilities and never embarrass him when he falls short of your expectations.
Check out this free instructional video from the man who coined the term to discover more about the hero instinct and how to trigger it in your man.
James Bauer discusses the words, texts, and small requests you may make to activate this very normal male instinct.
The hero instinct is possibly relationship psychology’s best-kept secret. Learning about it, I believe, is the key to obtaining a man’s love and dedication for life.
To watch the brief video, go here.
You may also like: the hero instinct 12-word text revealed. Discover this powerful phrase’s surprising impact in awakening a man’s primal desire.
5) Assure him that you’re in it for the long haul.
The need: A sense of security
What to do: Build his faith in you.
In a relationship, both men and women seek certainty. A man will be more willing to commit to his girlfriend if he believes she is sincerely involved in the relationship for the long term.
Aside from ensuring your boyfriend that you would not abandon him, there are additional factors to consider.
Men will feel more safe if they know you value them and their careers.
He’ll be more confident in the relationship if he feels you trust him enough not to read his texts or contact him every hour when he’s out with his pals.
There are also indications that he does not want anyone else to have you.
6) Show physical affection.
The need: To have non-sexual contact
What to do: Every once in a while, caress him
Men require non-sexual affection in addition to sexual access from their spouses.
Touching his hair, neck, or cheek with love can confirm your physical and emotional connection.
Physical love is interpreted through touch. It will turn him on and communicate to him that you love him and want him to be happy all the time.
It also serves as a reminder that you are by his side and that you adore him.
7) Inform him that it is fine if he makes a mistake.
The need: To be accepted and supported
What to do: Give him unconditional love and understanding.
Every man contains a small kid who forgets not to leave the toilet seat up or say the wrong thing to his pals.
He also has a keen mind and a short attention span, but keep in mind that you are his partner, not his mother. It’s not your responsibility to nag him if he does something wrong.
If he makes a mistake, talk to him gently about it and reassure him that it’s acceptable.
This shows him that you love and accept him completely, even if he makes mistakes now and again.
He will be motivated to become a better man for you once he realizes you understand him.
8) Be fun.
The need: To Have Some Fun
What to do: not taking yourself too seriously.
Many women excel at organizing and multitasking, which can be exhausting for men.
It’s quite easy to become tense while thinking about your to-do list, so why not be a little spontaneous and let loose with your friends?
Men appreciate it when you relinquish control and enjoy the moment with him. Don’t be afraid to show him your sense of humor since it shows him that you’re at ease and relaxed with him.
After all, life is too short to take things too seriously; your spouse will appreciate sharing inside jokes and going on adventures with you.
9) Getting specific advice
While this article discusses the primary qualities men seek in a relationship, speaking with a relationship coach about your circumstances can be beneficial.
You can get guidance tailored to your life and experiences by working with a professional relationship coach…
Relationship Hero is a website where highly qualified relationship coaches assist people in navigating complex and challenging love circumstances, such as how to please a man. They’re a popular resource for those facing similar challenges.
How do I know this?
I contacted them a few months back when I was going through a difficult time in my own relationship. They provided me with a unique insight into the mechanics of my relationship and how to get it back on track after I had been lost in my thoughts for so long.
My coach’s kindness, empathy, and genuine helpfulness astounded me.
In just a few minutes, you may connect with a qualified relationship counselor and receive guidance tailored to your specific circumstance.
10) Make romantic gestures for him.
The need: To Express Love Through Action
What to do: Woo him
Many people are unaware that men crave romance just as much as women do.
Men like to express their feelings via actions rather than words, thus charming your partner with romantic gestures will remind him that you love him.
While they won’t expect flowers or chocolates from you, your spouse won’t mind if you send him a cute text or kiss him on the cheek on the spur of the moment.
Making such unexpected actions will demonstrate your devotion and generosity in your relationship.
11) Take an interest in his interests.
The need: To share his interests with you.
What to do: Spending time with him and asking questions.
Men, like women, appreciate it when their partners are interested in their hobbies.
You might not have all of the same hobbies as him.
He enjoys watching movies, whereas you like to read. He enjoys jogging, whereas you prefer surfing.
It’s easy to lose interest in anything once you’ve determined you don’t like it, but it overlooks an essential fact: he still likes it.
So, even if you don’t intend to accompany him every time he plays racquetball or goes to the movies, it won’t hurt to tag along now and then (and encourage him to do the same with you).
Consider the following:
He’s inviting you into his very own tiny world by showing you what makes him passionate about life or what provides him enormous joy to do as a hobby.
You’ll not only have a deeper understanding of him, but he’ll experience a strong feeling of connection now that he can share this part of himself with you.
And if he prefers to do things on his own, that’s fine. You can still ask him questions to demonstrate your continued interest.
12) Accept him just as he is.
The need: To be able to be completely himself.
What to do: Reduce your judgment and criticism.
We all want to be accepted by our parents, friends, and, most importantly, lovers.
And, because many of us have issues that date back to our infancy, finding a spouse who can fully accept us as we are is difficult.
But if you can learn to ignore the minor details, be there for him no matter what he’s going through, and refrain from passing judgment?
He’ll feel like he’s in the best relationship in the world, and he’ll be able to just breathe and be himself without fear of being judged.
13) Maintain your word.
The need: To know he can rely on you.
What to do: being dependable and trustworthy.
For both men and women, trust in a relationship is essential.
Men, at their core, seek someone they can confide in. Someone they know will have their back and will not fail them.
When you say you’ll pay the bills or pick up the dry cleaning, he wants to be able to put it out of his mind, certain that you’ll follow through.
Let’s face it: there’s nothing worse than losing faith in your partner, but if you can demonstrate a high level of trust in him, it can greatly strengthen your relationship.
14) He deserves your respect.
The need: To have your approval and trust.
What to do: allow him to be in command of some aspects.
Many men believe that they must protect and provide for the people they care about. If he believes you disapprove of him in some way or lack faith in his talents, he will struggle to learn to trust and love you.
A lack of respect for him and what he desires in life will also cause him to question whether you truly want what is best for him.
To assist in resolving this issue, you must first understand what makes him tick.
Everything boils down to the hero instinct. This idea was mentioned earlier.
You can make him want to be a hero in small ways that will have a big effect on your relationship.
For instance, perhaps he takes satisfaction in being a competent driver and understanding how to get around. In that scenario, you can delegate responsibility for your next road trip to him.
Alternatively, he makes an effort to truly grasp your career and provides you with guidance anytime you require it. Make it clear to him how much you appreciate him doing this.
Little affirmations of your faith in his abilities and capabilities might enhance his confidence in himself and what he brings to your relationship.
Watch this great free video to learn more basic things you can do to activate your man’s hero instinct.
15) Support & encourage his goals.
The need: To feel supported in his ambitions.
What to do: encouraging him.
Every man wants to know that his partner is right next to him, supporting him in attaining his ambitions, whether he wants to run the marathon or get a significant promotion at work.
And, while many men, like women, struggle with confidence and self-esteem, your belief in him could be the driving force that propels him to achieve his goals.
When it comes to partnerships, we all have dreams and goals for the future, but the key is to encourage and support one another in order to get there together.
If you can accomplish it with him, he will be grateful and will always do his best for himself, you, and the relationship.
16) A partner is a partner
The need: To feel as if he is a full partner.
What to do: be more than just a girlfriend or wife.
Here’s the thing: when a guy puts his heart and soul into a relationship, he expects it to be more than average.
Instead of just being his girlfriend, be his everything – his companion, buddy, confidante, and the one he can turn to in any situation.
You should be the person who makes him thrilled about life and the prospects of the future. Encourage personal and relationship growth and development.
The reality is:
You can go above and beyond the necessities of a relationship by becoming a true partner; you can form a partnership together.
17) Be open to communicating and compromising.
The need: The ability to solve difficulties
What to do: Avoid damaging discussions.
That’s not to say you should never dispute with your partner; it’s unavoidable. However, you can ensure that disagreements are handled calmly and maturely.
Try visualizing the “issue,” or the basis for the fight, as separate from the two of you.
When you can detach from it, finding a solution becomes much easier because you’re both working together rather than battling against each other.
If he sees you trying your hardest to communicate even when it’s difficult, and you’re willing to compromise rather than playing blame games or being manipulative, he’ll appreciate you even more.
18) Keep your independence.
The need: To Maintain the Attraction
What to do: Have your own life.
It’s natural for attraction to fade, especially if you’ve been together for a long time.
But, because it’s an essential component of any healthy relationship, how do you maintain it in yours?
To begin with, having some freedom and building a satisfying life for yourself will make you far more appealing to your partner than sitting by his side all day.
He’ll enjoy hearing about your day, and it’ll offer him an opportunity to miss you. Guys, let’s face it, don’t want a clingy, needy relationship in which they don’t have time for themselves.
Finally, and most importantly:
A confident, independent woman is a great turn-on, therefore not only will it help the relationship, but it will also increase the sex life.
19) Always be dependable.
The need: To Feel Committed to
What to do: remain faithful to him.
In relationships, a little jealousy is harmless – it’s a natural sensation that demonstrates how much you don’t want to lose your spouse.
But just somewhat.
Anything more, and most men will rapidly lose faith in the relationship. And if it comes down to an affair, the consequences are far harsher.
Keep this in mind throughout your relationship; don’t play games or go crazy in making him jealous everytime you want to elicit a reaction from him.
This can often backfire, so focus on talking directly with him if your needs aren’t being addressed and working together to find a solution.
Because, at the end of the day, a man wants to know that he is the only one for you. So make sure you possess the traits of a loyal individual.
20) Let him know he’s a priority.
The need: To Be Valued
What to do: Considering his needs.
It is beneficial to understand the traits of an alpha guy in a relationship.
Nobody wants to be just a backup plan, especially in a relationship. Men want to be the most important person in your life, and they need to know that you appreciate and prioritize them.
And it only takes a little thought to do.
Turn off your favorite show when you notice he’s had a terrible day to distract him. If a major birthday or anniversary is approaching, make an extra effort to show him how much you care.
These tiny deeds will remind him how much he is appreciated, and in consequence, he will prioritize you and the relationship in his life as well.
21) When he’s wrong, call him out.
The need: Staying Grounded
What to do: be firm but fair.
Because we all have various ways of dealing with conflict, this will be more difficult for some than others.
Essentially, a man wants to know that his girlfriend will stand up for herself, even if it means putting his ego in check every now and then.
A prevalent myth is that boys simply want a girl who will be meek, never dispute, and always agree.
However, real men want a partner they can respect.
Someone who will not accept their nonsense yet is mature enough to discuss and work through the problem.
What they don’t want is someone who will bottle everything up and then explode one day, potentially causing even more damage to the relationship due to resentment.
So, if you can teach him how to stay grounded even when things get tough, he’ll undoubtedly develop more respect for the relationship and for you.
And most importantly: make honesty a top priority.
We’ve talked about how crucial trust is, but being honest is one of the best ways to create it in a relationship.
Even if the lies are “harmless,” they can accumulate over time and cause your partner to lose faith in you…we’ve all heard the fable of the child who called wolf.
Men need to believe they can rely on you and that you will not keep anything from them. They require a truly honest spouse.
Without it, he’ll constantly doubt his ability to genuinely open up to you and trust you with his vulnerabilities.
3 Ways to Keep Him Happy
How do you keep your man happy after he has agreed to marry you?
Many people don’t think past the commitment stage, yet it takes a lot of effort to keep your partner happy. Here are our top daily recommendations for keeping him happy and interested in the long run:
Experiment with date night and be open to new activities such as dancing, picnicking, or taking a class together.
Respect for limits and privacy: In any loving relationship, trust is essential. You don’t have to be always linked at the hip or have access to each other’s private conversations.
Talk openly and honestly: Spend additional time checking in on your boyfriend and listening to what he has to say. Make an additional effort to be gentle when discussing difficult issues and difficulties.
Relationships: why do we want them?
Finally, it’s critical to understand what your man desires in a relationship.
Consider the reasons why you began a relationship with someone. Everyone has a different perspective on things.
Conservatives define relationships as things that keep societal structures in place, such as marriage and parenthood.
Others believe that a romantic relationship exists to meet their needs: you want to be with someone who “completes” you, you’re terrified of being alone, and various variants on similar themes.
There are also others who believe that partnerships serve no function.
Begin by understanding the basic needs of every woman in a relationship.
The psychology of human needs
Relationships exist to satisfy a level of human needs, according to psychologist Abraham Maslow’s famous “Hierarchy of Needs” theory.
This needs hierarchy resembles a pyramid.
Our major occupation is to fulfill our physical needs such as food, drink, warmth, and shelter at the base or first level.
The second level focuses on security, safety, and fearlessness.
Finally, the third level implies that people have a craving for social interaction. We want to love and be loved; we want to be accepted by our friends, family, and romantic relationships.
The next two levels of Maslow’s Hierarchy remain linked to our desire to build meaningful relationships – our self-esteem is linked to how others perceive us, and we reach our full potential when we actively engage with others.
How men differ: the inequalities in how men perceive relationships
In her book ‘The Male Brain’, neuropsychiatrist Louann Brizedine outlines how the male brain grows and changes but always remains as a “lean mean problem-solving machine”.
Her research demonstrates that the male brain has its own set of distinct structures and chemicals that produce a “man reality”.
This “masculine reality” is drastically different from the feminine one, which is why it’s often “oversimplified and misinterpreted”.
As a guy grows, his brain is created and reformed by his genes and male sex hormones, which result in distinctly male behaviors.
This is why men handle spatial problems differently than women, solve emotional difficulties differently, and perceive face muscles differently.
For example, men’s brain areas for muscular movement and protective aggression are greater. This makes them more suited to mate protection and territorial defense.
Pecking order and hierarchy are also valued more highly in the male brain than women believe.
Because men and women have different brain circuits, they approach emotions in different ways.
Women tend to express their feelings verbally as a way of figuring out how they feel.
Men, on the other hand, are more action-oriented when it comes to emotions. They like to tackle emotional suffering through problem-solving and will provide suggestions for “fixing” a situation.
Even though men and women have many similarities, the differences add up when it comes to relationships.
This is why your partner may not be experiencing the same issues as you.
Taking pleasure in peak experiences
Maslow also emphasized “peak experiences,” which are extraordinary occasions in which we experience tremendous love, understanding, and happiness.
Peak experiences make us feel more alive and entire. Many of these awe-inspiring moments take place in the context of healthy relationships.
Peak experiences, on the other hand, are unlikely to occur if you’re in a relationship built on meeting lower-level needs.
Obviously, if you’re with someone because you need food or shelter, the relationship won’t last long.
Another issue with the previously mentioned reasons – fear of being alone, desire to support social systems, and others – is that they put your life and your well-being out of your hands.
Staying in a relationship because you are dependent on someone is not love, and it will have no long-term relevance for you as a person.
The greatest approach to conceive of your relationship is as something unconditional for which you may accept responsibility.
This suggests you’re concentrating on your own efforts and obligations, as well as what makes your partner happy.
Instead of focusing on what you can gain from the relationship, why not enjoy it as a space where we can grow alongside a partner?
From this perspective, some positive reasons to be in a relationship include:
Cultivating health and happiness: Happiness comes naturally when you spend your life with someone you care about, but relationships can also encourage couples to stay healthy together.
Being someone’s hero: In a healthy relationship, spouses rely on one another for assistance and support. According to relationship expert James Bauer, men like to feel like they are their partner’s hero.
Holding someone’s hand through good and terrible times: Holding someone’s hand through good and bad times makes it simpler to weather life together.
Changing for the better: Love gives people the energy to break old habits, try new things, and become the greatest version of themselves.
Enjoying life together: Relationships allow people to live enjoyable and hopeful lives in which they can grow and achieve new things.
Conclusion: Establishing a Healthy Relationship
At the end of the day, a strong relationship necessitates understanding what your spouse truly desires.
The missing link in any relationship, in my experience, is never sex, communication, or a lack of romance. All of these factors are important, but they are rarely deal breakers when it comes to a relationship’s success.
This is the missing link:
You must first grasp what your man expects and needs from you.
Relationship guru James Bauer’s latest video explains what makes men tick—and the type of woman they fall in love with on a regular basis.
The brief video can be viewed here.
The film discloses a relationship “secret ingredient” that few women are aware of, but which holds the key to a man’s love and loyalty for life.
What if a relationship coach could help you?
Talking to a relationship coach can be very helpful if you are looking for specific advice regarding your situation.
This is something I have personally experienced…
When I was going through a tough patch in my relationship, I reached out to Relationship Hero. The insights they gave me into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track were invaluable for me after being lost in my thoughts for so long.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a website where highly trained relationship coaches guide people through difficult times in their love lives.
You can receive tailor-made advice for your specific situation within minutes by connecting with a certified relationship coach.
Despite being new to coaching, I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and helpful my coach was.
Take advantage of our exclusive $50 off offer for Sons Of Universe readers.
You may also like:
13 Surefire Ways to Get a Man to Marry You Soon (What You Need to Know)
8 Proven Tips To Attract An Older Man (And Fatal Mistakes to Avoid)
10 Simple Ways to Give a Man Space to Chase You (And Why You Should Do That)
