Is the man you’re seeing often responding to your texts but never messaging first?
Do you have any idea why is this happening?
Do you find this stressful, and if so, would you like to know how to make things better?
I’ll address each of these issues in this article and show you how to get him to text you first.
But first, I want you to read this story very attentively before we move on to the list.
I squandered a lot of time in relationships with men who weren’t genuinely interested in me.
I had a tremendously hard time leaving a lasting impression on the guys I liked.
I thought I would never find a man who truly loved me for who I am!
Before I discovered a significant part of male psychology that influences how men feel about the love interests in their lives.
It’s known as the “Hero’s Instinct,” a primitive way of thinking that seems to have a significant influence on most males.
When I figured out how to induce this psychological response, my luck with guys completely changed. I was able to give them a sense of belonging that no other lady could (read my personal story to learn more).
Once you know how, it’s simple to learn this talent. But so few people appear to be aware of it.
I strongly advise you to read more about how I came to understand the power of the “Hero’s Instinct” if you’re wanting to win over a special guy.
Let’s now dive into the reasons why he never makes the first move when texting.
It’s crucial to note that a man might not message you first but still respond to all of your messages for a variety of reasons.
In the post below, I’ve outlined 17 potential explanations as well as what to do if he doesn’t text you first.
What Makes Him Never Send Text Messages First?
It can be challenging to understand what is happening if you start all text discussions. Even though you want to chat to him, you don’t want to come across as desperate. He seems to be playing hard to get, so you can’t help but think whether you should stop texting him and see what happens.
We’ll discuss the reasons why he might not be texting you initially in this article.
Here are the most frequent ones and what you should do if he doesn’t call or text you. There are a number of reasons why he might not be picking up the phone to talk to you.
1) He’s being deceptive
Some men believe that if they don’t text first, it will make you want them more. Men today truly enjoy being pursued, so he’s not texting you first to make you chase after him.
This, however, will backfire. He will begin to lose interest as you pursue him farther. The next time you speak with someone, offer them to text you instead of always picking up the phone first. Just say, “I’ll chat to you later, but text me someday. I’m about to go hang out with some buddies. I adore our conversations.
Don’t text him again till after he texts you. At the same moment, two persons can play hard to get. It will be difficult to resist the impulse to contact him, but make an effort to stay occupied.
You may also like: 10 Proven Steps to Make Him Chase You (And Fatal Mistakes to Avoid)
2) You text in a dry manner.
It’s possible that he’s not finding the talk enjoyable. Do you text informally? Do you respond with one-word messages or don’t add anything to the conversation? Check out your prior talks to see whether you need to add anything new to the conversation.
3) He’s texting other people besides only you.
Although no one wants to deal with this, it is reality. He might be texting other girls if you two aren’t in a serious relationship. Since he is single, he most likely sees nothing wrong with it.
Is it a struggle to convince him to spend time with you?
Understanding males on a much deeper emotional level is the key to finding a solution.
With a few subtle comments you might make to him, you can actually modify the main reason why men react in this way.
Learn how to become his top priority in this free video by Relationship Psychologist James Bauer.
If you text him less frequently and make sure to make him laugh when you do, you can handle this.
Laugh at his jokes. When a girl makes a guy grin, they love it. You might text someone else if you don’t want to deal with his games.
Learn about James Bauer’s 12-word text and its surprising impact in awakening a man’s primal desire.
4) He’s still in pain from an earlier relationship.
Many guys who purposely avoid texting do so out of concern that you could interpret their messages incorrectly. He might be concerned that if he texts you first, it will appear that he likes you.
Even if they are aware that you are intrigued, guys who are still hurting and don’t want to be anything more than buddies will strive to keep things platonic. He doesn’t want to lead you on, but he also doesn’t want to hide the fact that he doesn’t like you.
Think about whether he recently gone through a difficult breakup in this instance. Tell him that you’re here for him and that everything will be fine.
You may like: How a 4-word text may transform your relationship
5) He’s quite busy
We don’t think to start texting people when we are in the middle of anything. Instead, our attention is on the current task or activity. He might simply forget to text you first if he’s out with his friends.
You need to make him miss you in order to remedy this. Continue texting him, but make sure to be upbeat and humorous to arouse a little more interest. Do not text him again for a few days after that. He’ll begin to long for you.
6) He fears entering a committed relationship.
When it comes time for him to make the first move, your crush will struggle if he fears commitment. A guy who avoids initiating talks likely fears commitment. He may also exhibit the following additional indicators of relationship anxiety:
- He is unreliable
- Frequently cancels arrangements at the last minute
- Takes days to text to texts
- Hardly ever discusses the future.
Men with commitment problems frequently want to escape the future at all means. Although males frequently avoid situations for this reason, they often won’t tell you the real reason. Instead of messaging him to ask, keep an eye out for indications that he fears commitment.
7) Aversion to rejection
If he doesn’t initiate contact, he won’t have to worry about being rejected! It’s obvious that you want to hear from him when you message him. Males who frequently experience rejection, have been betrayed, or are frequently the ones to end a relationship are more likely than other men to have rejection anxiety.
This can be your issue if he starts replying to your texts right away. Telling him that you like chatting to him can reassure him. Tell him you’d appreciate it if he began contacting you first. He may feel less anxious as a result of this. It will communicate to him that you don’t find his communications to be bothersome.
8) He doesn’t text a lot
Simply said, some men aren’t fond on texting. He might not be texting you first for this reason. This can be the case if he texts informally or frequently replies with a single word. Does he seem more interested in phone chats or in-person interactions? If so, he most likely doesn’t consider it to be a significant concern.
Spend time with him rather than worrying about why he isn’t texting. Don’t text him twice. Inquire as to the best time to hang out. To find out more about a guy’s viewpoint on texting, see this article.
9) He is a recluse.
You already know that he is an introvert if you know him. The majority of introverted people have similar personality features and tend to like similar things. They are quiet and find it difficult to interact with others.
They frequently prefer doing things alone, with only one other person, or in small groups as opposed to in huge ones.
10) Keeping it informal
He can be attempting to stay away from a fresh relationship. Guys tend to push you away if they think you’re only interested in being friends but they aren’t.
By asking to hang out, you can determine whether a guy likes you or not. If he’s not interested in being more than buddies, he’ll make sure that things remain platonic. He might like to hang around and eat lunch throughout the daytime as an example. You won’t receive an invitation to stay the night at his home.
11) He’s got other things to do.
Even if a guy likes you, you might not be that important to him. He’s not likely to initiate texts often if he’s putting a lot of effort into getting a job promotion or if he’s preoccupied with spending time with his kids.
Pay attention to what he does mention when the two of you are together or on the phone to see whether this is happening. Consider what he consistently claims to be doing. His top priority is that.
12) It was a poor first date.
Have you two recently gone on a date? Was he trying to fill awkward silences and was it incredibly embarrassing? If so, it might be the reason he never texts first but always responds. Guys who aren’t sure whether they want to keep seeing you will withdraw, but they won’t tell you that things won’t progress further until they are.
Some guys genuinely do have crazy ex-girlfriends, and they’ve gone through a lot of garbage.
13) Unfounded fears
They may develop trust issues as a result, in addition to a number of other worries. He won’t text you first but will always reply because doing so makes him more likely to distance himself from you.
14) He is keeping you waiting
Some males think that making a girl wait will pique her attention. He may not necessarily be trying to trick you out of his dislike for you. He never texts first instead because he wants to make sure you continue to be interested in him. Play the cat and mouse game with pleasure. Only at the start of a relationship does it occur!
15) He doesn’t want to come across as overly interested.
Typically, men who play the waiting game don’t want to come across as overly eager. He might truly like you, but he doesn’t want to put too much pressure on you. Therefore, he is waiting a few days to text you rather than texting you right away. He can claim to be busy.
You need to stop texting him in this circumstance. You may be asking yourself, “How come he never texts me first?,” but you are denying him the chance to do so.
16) He is timid.
Because we observe a person having fun, we occasionally think that he is self-assured and outgoing, but that isn’t always the case. Don’t anticipate that from males.
It’s highly likely that he is silent on the inside. Because of this, he may feel uncomfortable initiating interactions, which is why he never texts first.
17) He’s trying to be polite
This one hurts a little. The majority of us prefer it when guys are honest with us rather than just being polite, but there are still plenty of boys who just don’t want to admit they don’t want a friendship or relationship with you. Instead, they merely reply to your text to be courteous.
You’ll be aware if this is the reason he never texts first. He won’t invite you out to enjoy yourself and won’t broach the relationship of getting romantic with you. The likelihood is that the guys who are doing this will be busy when you want to go out. With them, you won’t have the most intriguing chats.
Four more key reasons you may not want to ignore
He believes you disapprove of him.
Consider the most recent talks the two of you had. Did you let him know that you have feelings for him beyond just being a friend? Or did you only have platonic relationships?
He most likely got the impression that you don’t like him despite your best efforts to play the hard to get.
To let him know how you feel, start to flirt with him a little. When he first texts you, be careful to be consistent so he doesn’t assume you’re playing a trick on him.
He lacks a topic of conversation
He could not know what to say, leaving you to question “how come he never texts me first.” This can be a result of his shyness or fear. By initiating the conversation via text, you eliminate the need for him to do so.
You have a clincher.
We all have things that are absolute must-haves. For instance, I won’t date a man who has young children. My children are older, and I don’t want to go through those stages all over again. Even though other people may have different deal breakers, they all have them.
Because you have a deal breaker, he might have concluded that he only wants to be friends. If this is the reason he never texts first, if you don’t text him, he won’t start messaging first. Let’s see what happens if you stop texting him.
He doesn’t want to annoy you,
He won’t want to message you constantly if he senses that you’re busy the majority of the time.
He doesn’t want to text you first, that’s not the issue. He’s more interested in making sure you don’t find him annoying.
Let him know he shouldn’t be concerned. If he does manage to text you first, reply to him with a smile.
FAQs
Why does he reply but not take the lead?
He may be afraid if he constantly responds but doesn’t text first. When they sincerely appreciate a girl, guys frequently experience anxiety. Maybe he’s busy or doesn’t have anything to say. Some guys simply don’t text and hence don’t start conversations that way.
Why never sends me a text message first when I like a guy?
He may not be into you, but he won’t say it out of concern for how it will make you feel. Guys occasionally don’t text first because they are playing tricks on you or want to drag you along. Don’t text him to check if he responds. Rather, put your friends first.
A guy who likes you could he not text you?
Yes! When men are around pals, they don’t text as frequently. They have a reputation for just slipping their phone into their pocket. Guys don’t always enjoy texting. Simply said, they would choose to have discussions over messaging back and forth all day.
Why does he hold off sending a text until I do?
He doesn’t want to tell you that he only wants to be friends with you. He can be preoccupied or afraid of committing. Instead of having a meaningful talk about how they feel, guys frequently believe it is simpler to gradually distance themselves from you or avoid you. Although it could appear dodgy, they don’t want to offend your sensibilities.
How can I encourage him to start?
When he texts you, smile and text right away. Tell him you’d love to hear more from him and drop a hint that you’d prefer a text from him first. Ask him inquiries to learn more about him. Send him flirtatious emojis.
As a result,
When a guy texts you back but never seems to text you first, it might be perplexing. What did you do if you experienced this?
You think about him all the time, but he thinks only about himself?
It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you.
He needs to be understood in his own way.
You’ll find there’s a subtle thing you can say to him that will dramatically change how he shows his emotions towards you once you do that.
Learn how to become his top priority in this free video by Relationship Psychologist James Bauer.
