When it comes to relationships, humility is undeniably one of the most important characteristics.
The question is, why is this so important? How does humility play a role in a relationship, and what does it look like?
Today, I’m going to lay out 8 ways humility can make a difference in our relationships here.
If you’re curious about the nature of your relationship, check out our article about the different types of relationships and how to deal with them.
1) Humility prevents disagreements from being out of hand.
Many of us fantasize of having our “happy ever after”—a relationship in which everything is simple and uncomplicated…one in which we are always content.
Unfortunately, there is no such thing as “happily ever after.”
You may discover and marry your ideal mate, yet you will still deal with arguments during your relationship.
A good relationship does not have no drama, conflicts, or disappointments of any kind. Instead, it is one in which difficulties are handled maturely and quickly resolved.
And you can’t do it unless you have humility.
After all, how are you supposed to resolve problems if you keep outdoing each other in terms of who is right and who is wrong?
With humility, you can make even the most difficult relationship issues much simpler to handle.
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2) There will be no treading on eggshells.
Consider the polar opposite of humility—pride—and demonstrate how detrimental it is.
Assume you become aware of reports that your partner is cheating on you and confront them about it. They assure you that, no, they’re completely committed to you and even have proof that the reports are false.
But, because of your pride, acknowledging you made a mistake (especially if you were overly emotional about it) and apologizing is a bitter pill to chew.
It’s humiliating, and you’re not going to put up with it. Instead, you’ll simply walk away or say something like, “One day I’ll catch you” or “Sure, but I’d be cautious out there if I were you.”
And this will put your partner on edge, making them feel like they have to continually show their devotion around you, such as never being around other people of the opposite sex or being found conversing with someone late at night.
All of this is eliminated by humility.
Accepting that you made a mistake in accusing them and apologizing relieves pressure on your relationship, which means your partner doesn’t have to spend their days worrying about when you’ll come at them with an accusation they can’t refute.
3) It improves communication.
If you pay great attention, the above scenario will also demonstrate another benefit of humility: it facilitates communication.
In the case I outlined earlier, having humility and recognizing your faults implies that you will be able to sit down and discuss the problem together. In this situation, you get to explain what made you think they were cheating on you, and they get to provide their side of the story.
You don’t even have to wait for large situations like disagreements to notice how humility affects communication.
When neither of you has your heads up your behinds, even simple things like small chat become much more pleasant.
Having too little or no humility, on the other hand, may easily transform even a basic conversation into a minefield.
You may be discussing bird facts, but they claim that a fact is the exact opposite of how you perceived it. From there, it swiftly devolves into ego, with neither of you backing down until you stop talking altogether.
I may appear to be exaggerating, but believe me, I’ve seen it happen.
With humility, you’ll be able to converse freely without fear of offending one another or turning every conversation into a quarrel.
4) It relieves the need to prove oneself.
Even commonplace debates, such as discussing bird statistics or world history, can quickly become heated if neither of you has the humility to back down.
When you think about it, humility implies acknowledging that you, like everyone else, are an imperfect human being. However, this can be difficult for some of us to accept.
It’s not all our fault. Modern culture has indoctrinated us to believe that we are exceptional snowflakes, geniuses with unique talents…and that, for these reasons, we are entitled to the finest of everything.
I discovered how damaging this way of thinking is after seeing Justin Brown’s video I’m Sorry to Tell You, But You’re Not Special:
This assumption, I believe, is one of the primary reasons of our worry and despair. And potentially for our relationship issues as well.
Being modest does not come naturally if we begin to believe we are too special.
And one of the fundamental components of healthy relationships is humility.
When you can concede to each other that you can and will make errors, that neither of you is perfect, there is no need to appear more perfect than you are.
This doesn’t imply you should excuse your bad habits because you’re flawed in the first place—you should still strive to be the best you can be for your lover.
But it does imply that you’re sometimes mistaken about that bird fact you triumphantly blurted forth seconds earlier, and that pizza you made is, in fact, overcooked.
5) You will establish a welcoming and supportive environment for both of you.
A lot of what I’ve just said will demonstrate how pleasant and tranquil a relationship will be when you’re both humble.
You avoid many pointless disagreements, and those that do arise are settled promptly and cleanly.
And, as you know, simply not being uptight all the time brings about an overall sense of tranquility.
Of course, you already know this based on everything I’ve stated thus far. But, you know what, the fact that being modest can generate an atmosphere like this is worth discussing.
This is because a pleasant, comfortable environment like this promotes personal growth and exploration.
You will feel lot more at ease trying anything new, such as carpentry. And if you make a mistake, you can rely on your partner to be honest with you and offer advice.
And, if you do decide to marry (if you haven’t already), an environment like this would be ideal for any children you might want to raise together.
In fact, if you plan to have children, you should first ensure that you and your partner have created this kind of loving and nurturing environment.
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6) You will learn more from one another.
Recognizing that none of you is perfect has the advantage of allowing you to see how much you can learn from one another.
Perhaps you’re not very good at gardening but have always wanted to try… well, what would you have it! Your companion is an accomplished gardener.
When you’re full of yourself, you can see it as a test. To learn “on your own” so that you may demonstrate your value to your partner.
But if you’re humble, you’d realize that they’re simply better at it than you are, and you’d listen to whatever suggestions they might have. And if they’re humble as well, they may give you advice that makes you want to learn.
Driving, cooking, fishing, cleaning the house, and even playing games like chess and checkers together are all examples of this.
Sometimes your partner is better than you, and sometimes you are better than your mate.
When you can put your egos aside and practice humility in your relationship, this give and take becomes even more dynamic.
7) You both improve as individuals.
We are all flawed. And, while certain relationships might bring out the worst in us, others can bring out the finest.
A relationship that recognizes the need of humility can help us become better individuals.
But the truth is that not everyone is born modest. And we can only make so many changes.
This is not an issue. The truth is, even if you’re egoistic and combative on the inside, being exposed to this kind of affirming environment over a long period of time will alter you.
You’ll gradually find it simpler to sit down and keep your ego in check, as well as to step aside when your fury flares.
So, in the end, you’ll both be better people than you were before you tried to be patient and humble with each other.
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8) There’s no need to be concerned about each other’s egos.
When both of you are humble, none of you has to be concerned about stepping on the other person’s ego.
Achievements, knowledge, talents, and so on…are shared. As well as difficulties and defects.
You’re not holding yourself back because you’re afraid of attaining “more” than your partner, and your partner is free to express their own preferences instead of deferring to you when you speak up.
Here are a couple more important benefits to consider:
You’ll make them feel at ease enough to be completely honest with you.
Many individuals believe that if they aren’t told something is terrible, it isn’t bad—so they refuse to listen when someone has constructive feedback to offer.
Poop attached to your boot, on the other hand, will be there whether or not someone bothers to tell you about it. The poop stuck to your boot is the result of your faults and the consequences of those mistakes.
You won’t be able to wash it away until someone approaches you and tells you about it, and being humble means that your partner will know it’s okay for them to do that for you…that you won’t take things personally!
For example, if you have a horrible haircut, your partner can tell you straight up that it wasn’t cut correctly rather than letting you bring it all the way to work for your coworkers to laugh at.
And this is insignificant. Consider how much you’d both improve if you could be completely honest with each other. That is only possible if you are both humble.
You’ll spread happiness to those around you
You will create a caring environment for yourself and your partner, as well as any future children you may have together, if you are modest.
They will learn from the same environment that has shaped you into the excellent person you are and will become decent people too.
Not only will your children benefit from your marriage, but so will your family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, and everyone you know.
Finally, why humility is so important.
Humility isn’t always viewed positively—for some, it’s nearly associated with weakness—with being a “pushover,” and others shudder at the word because… well, they’re too proud of themselves and regard it as degrading.
But it isn’t, and it is, in fact, one of the foundations of emotional maturity. It is an important aspect of developing a secure and happy relationship in this way.
It’s not easy to instill in yourself, especially if you’re a naturally proud person. But it’s worth the effort because it enhances not only your love life, but also your other relationships, including your relationship with yourself.
How to be more humble in your relationship?
Humility is one of the most admirable and best traits a person can have, but today it is rare to see. It is not the nature of a humble individual to boast about everything they know, possess, or have achieved in their lives.
The fact is, you won’t even know if you don’t ask. This article discusses how to be humble in order to have a healthier relationship
What if a relationship coach could help you?
Talking to a relationship coach can be very helpful if you are looking for specific advice regarding your situation.
This is something I have personally experienced…
When I was going through a tough patch in my relationship, I reached out to Relationship Hero. The insights they gave me into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track were invaluable for me after being lost in my thoughts for so long.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a website where highly trained relationship coaches guide people through difficult times in their love lives.
You can receive tailor-made advice for your specific situation within minutes by connecting with a certified relationship coach.
Despite being new to coaching, I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and helpful my coach was.
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