There’s a reason I believe you should never chase a man, and it has nothing to do with playing games or boosting your ego. Trust me, I’ve been there—watching my friend Amanda tie herself into emotional pretzels trying to get a guy to notice her.
Spoiler alert: it didn’t end well. That night, over a bottle of Malbec, we laughed and cried as she realized something life-changing: chasing anyone isn’t love—it’s self-abandonment.
I’m Claire Delli Santi, and I’m here to tell you that relationships thrive when both people choose each other. Later, I’ll share Amanda’s eye-opening story—and how she turned the tables by reclaiming her worth.
And, if you’re curious about flipping the dynamic, check out our guide on making a man chase you—it’s eye-opening!
Key Nuggets
- Stop chasing men; prioritize yourself to attract real connection.
- One-sided relationships are emotional quicksand—walk away before they pull you under.
- Healthy love feels balanced and mutual, not like an endless audition for attention. Link to:
- Chasing is like running after a bus—focus on being the destination, not the pursuer.
1. Understanding the Confident and Strong Woman
As a confident woman, you know your worth. You shine with self-assuredness and radiate self-respect. You understand that your value does not decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth. Being a strong woman means not allowing anyone to take you for granted. It means standing up for yourself, even if it means standing alone.
However, even the strongest women can sometimes slip into the chase. It’s easy to lose sight of our worth when feelings get involved. But remember, confidence is not about never falling; it’s about always getting up.
Confident and strong women attract the right kind of romantic partner. They attract partners who appreciate their worth, partners who are willing to invest as much as they do into the relationship, creating a healthy and balanced dynamic.
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2. The Importance of a Healthy Relationship
A healthy relationship is like a dance. It’s a harmonious balance of give-and-take, a rhythm of mutual pursuit. In a healthy relationship, both partners invest equally, both emotionally and physically.
Yet, it’s crucial to recognize that even in a healthy relationship, there will be times when one partner invests more than the other. This is natural and often temporary. However, an ongoing, one-sided relationship is far from healthy.
A healthy relationship also means finding a partner who respects your personal time, who doesn’t make you feel guilty for pursuing your interests. It’s about finding a partner who values you as you are, without trying to mold you into someone else.
3. Dangers of a One-Sided Relationship
A one-sided relationship is like a seesaw with only one person: you’re either stuck in the air or crashed on the ground. It’s emotionally draining and can lead to feelings of utter despair.
Chasing a man who isn’t reciprocating your effort can make you feel unwanted and unappreciated. It can lead to resentment, frustration, and low self-esteem. As an empowered woman, you deserve better than that.
Remember, you’re not a backup plan, and definitely not a second option. If he can’t see your worth, it’s his loss, not yours.
EDITOR’S NOTE
All You Think About is Him But… He Only Thinks About Himself?
It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you.
He needs to be understood in his own way.
You’ll find there’s a subtle thing you can say to him that will dramatically change how he shows his emotions towards you once you do that.
Learn how to become his top priority in this free video by Relationship Psychologist James Bauer.
4. Importance of Personal Time in a Relationship
Personal time is crucial in any relationship. It’s an opportunity to focus on yourself, to pursue your interests and passions. It’s about maintaining your individuality, even when you’re part of a couple.
When you’re continuously chasing a man, you end up sacrificing your personal time. You might find yourself constantly waiting for his calls or texts, ignoring your own needs and wants. This isn’t fair to you, and it’s not healthy for the relationship.
Remember, a man who truly cares about you, will respect your personal time and will encourage you to pursue your interests.
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5. Dating the Wrong Person: Real-Life Examples
We all have stories about dating the wrong person. There’s the guy who only called when it was convenient for him, the one who took but never gave, the one who made you feel like you were never enough. Countless women have been there, and countless women have learned from these experiences.
Perhaps it’s the charismatic guy who showers you with attention one day and ignores you the next. Or the commitment-phobe who’s always “not ready” for a serious relationship. These are real-life examples of the wrong person, the kind of person who’s not worth your time and energy.
Remember, dating is about finding the right person for you, not changing the wrong person for you.
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6. How to Handle Dating Situations
Dating situations can be tricky, especially when feelings are involved. However, it’s important to remember that you have control over your actions and reactions. You’re not a puppet on a string, swayed by his every whim.
If a man isn’t treating you with respect, or if he’s not investing as much as you are into the relationship, it might be time to reconsider. Don’t be afraid to communicate your feelings and expectations. After all, you’re an assertive woman, and assertiveness is a sign of respect for yourself and for others.
Remember, how you handle dating situations can set the tone for your relationship. Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you believe in.
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7. Building Emotional Intimacy without Chasing
Building emotional intimacy is about opening up, being vulnerable, and allowing your partner to do the same. It’s not about chasing or forcing someone to open up to you.
Emotional intimacy is about trust, understanding, and acceptance. It’s about creating a safe space where both you and your partner feel comfortable sharing your thoughts, feelings, and fears.
Remember, emotional intimacy is a two-way street. It requires effort from both partners, and it’s not something that can be rushed or forced.
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8. The Psychological Impact of Utter Despair in Relationships
Utter despair can have a significant psychological impact. It can lead to feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and even depression. When you’re constantly chasing a man who isn’t reciprocating your effort, it’s easy to fall into a state of despair.
This is why it’s so important to recognize the signs of a one-sided relationship and to take action. It’s not about playing games with men; it’s about protecting your emotional health and well-being.
Remember, you’re a high-class woman, and you deserve a high-class relationship. Don’t settle for less.
Discover the signs that a man is into you instead.
9. The Role of Adaptable and Assertive Women in Relationships
As an adaptable woman, you understand that relationships require compromise. However, you also know that compromise doesn’t mean losing yourself or your values.
Being assertive means expressing your feelings and needs in a respectful way. It’s about standing up for yourself and your relationship. It’s about setting boundaries and sticking to them.
Remember, being adaptable and assertive is not about being aggressive or demanding. It’s about communicating effectively and resolving conflicts in a healthy way.
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10. Recommended Books for Women on Relationships and Self-Worth
Knowledge is power, and there are numerous books for women that can provide valuable insights into relationships and self-worth. Some of these include “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle, “You Are a Badass” by Jen Sincero, and “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown.
These books offer practical advice and strategies to help you navigate the world of dating and relationships. They can help you understand your worth and empower you to demand the respect and love you deserve.
Remember, continual learning is the key to growth. Invest some time to read and empower yourself.
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11. The Empowered Woman in the Context of Career and Relationships
As an empowered woman, you understand the importance of balancing your career and relationships. You know that you’re capable of achieving success in both areas, without having to sacrifice one for the other.
You’re not afraid to pursue your career goals, and you’re not afraid to demand a fulfilling relationship. You understand that you can have it all, and you’re not willing to settle for less.
Remember, you’re a career woman, but you’re also a woman who deserves love and respect. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
12. Recognizing and Avoiding Dead-End Relationships
Recognizing and avoiding dead-end relationships is crucial. These are relationships that are going nowhere, relationships that are more draining than fulfilling.
Signs of a dead-end relationship include a lack of progress, a lack of mutual respect, and a lack of effort from one or both partners. If you find yourself in a dead-end relationship, it might be time to reconsider.
Remember, life is too short to waste on dead-end relationships. You deserve a relationship that brings you joy, not frustration.
My Personal Take
I’ll never forget that night with Amanda. She was sitting on my couch, mascara smudged, scrolling through a string of unanswered texts she’d sent to a guy she barely knew. “Why do I feel like I’m auditioning for a role he doesn’t even care about?” she asked, her voice breaking. That’s when it hit her—and me too: chasing someone is like trying to run after a bus that’s already pulling away. It’s exhausting, undignified, and leaves you standing in the dust.
Amanda’s story isn’t unique, but her turnaround was inspiring. Instead of pouring her energy into someone who didn’t value her, she reclaimed her power. She stopped texting him altogether and focused on herself. I introduced her to James Bauer’s His Secret Obsession guide, specifically his game-changing 12-word hero instinct text. It’s a simple but powerful tool that flips the script and reawakens a man’s interest. Amanda didn’t have to spend weeks or hundreds of dollars in therapy; she got immediate results.
Here’s the truth: you should never chase a man. Instead, focus on being the woman worth chasing. Amanda did, and guess what? She became happier, more confident—and yes, he noticed.
P.S.
Embrace your journey, empower yourself, and remember, you’re worth it! Don’t forget to share this article with your friends who might be in need of this wisdom. Let’s all be the strong, confident women we are meant to be!
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10 Simple Ways to Give a Man Space to Chase You (And Why You Should Do That)
How to Get Him to Spend More Time with You: 13 Simple Yet Effective Ways
10 Science-Tested Steps to Make a Man Addicted to You (No Mind-Games)
